The Hills star Whitney Port reveals what she learnt from her miscarriage
Whitney Port, star of The Hills and The Hills: New Beginnings, has penned a beautiful article on Refinery 29, openly discussing the traumatic details of her recent miscarriage.
Content warning: This story discusses miscarriage.
The television personality, fashion designer and author first revealed the news of her miscarriage on Instagram in July and talked about it on her podcast With Whit.
Now, she has taken another step to share exactly how the experience made her feel – and for many women, her honest words offer a sense of support and understanding – not to mention, the start of an important conversation.
Second time around
Whitney and her husband, Tim Rosenman, had their first child Sonny in 2017, and she talks about the many feelings that surfaced when having a miscarriage the second time around.
“Having a miscarriage on my second pregnancy unearthed more complex and contrary feelings than I ever could have imagined,” she wrote in the article.
“It was like emotional whiplash — swinging from one extreme to the other with no foresight into what the next moment would hold.”
After struggling with the “fear and anxiety” that came with her miscarriage, Whitney was also left feeling guilty as she already had a lovely son while many women struggle with infertility.
“I felt that I had no right to be upset about my miscarriage when so many women can’t get pregnant at all,” she said. “I already have a healthy child of my own, so I found myself questioning, ‘Who do I think I am?!'”
But Whitney now knows that it doesn’t make miscarriage any more bearable.
“The fact that I’m already a mom doesn’t make my experience any more or less painful. It was just different,” she said. “It was my own. And in the end, it gave me empathy and perspective for which I am extremely grateful.”
Miscarriage is a common occurrence
Whitney says that she had no idea how common miscarriage is, which made her realised there are probably lots of other women out there going through the same thing.
“I was shocked by how many of my friends had miscarried, and how several only shared their stories with me after I told them about my experience,” she said.
“In another case, a friend simply didn’t talk about it until she realised that her experience may help me cope with mine.”
The true value of sharing
Whitney obviously shares a lot of her life with the public but says she really sees the value in it. Since sharing her struggle with breastfeeding and now her miscarriage, many others with similar experiences have started reaching out.
“By joining a conversation, you open yourself up to so many relatable people and stories. Revealing my miscarriage on social media was by far one of the most vulnerable things I’ve ever done. But after seeing firsthand the power of honesty when I revealed my struggle with breastfeeding two years ago, I knew this was something I wanted to do.”
Whitey also gives credit to the internet for allowing this sort of communication.
“This platform has fundamentally changed the way we communicate, and we should use it to our advantage to break down barriers of silence and shame,” she says.
“If nothing else, speaking up can make someone feel less alone, and I can’t think of a worthier cause for modern technology.”
All kinds of mothers
Finally, Whitney addresses all women who are trying to get pregnant but struggling with miscarriage.
“I hope you know that it’s not your fault. You’re only human. Your body is not a machine, and just because you can’t give birth doesn’t mean you can’t be a mother,” she says.
However, it is her final words of advice that really resonates and offer hope for those in similar situations: “If I can leave you with a few simple words of advice, they would be to not give up and not blame yourself,” she says.
“Miscarriage does not mean you are any less meant to be a mother.”
If you – or someone you know – has experienced the loss of a baby, please visit sands.org.au to access resources and support.