Love at first sight
Since then, Turia’s being sharing the triumphs and tricky bits of parenting via her Instagram account, with her latest post particularly one to sit up and take note of. (I mean, naturally they’re all pretty compelling, but this week’s update was a brilliant reminder and gets an extra special mention!)
In her latest missive, Turia reveals she records lots of Hakavai’s ‘firsts’ for posterity.
We’re talking things like first step … first wear of gangsta cap. Yep, we really liked that second one too.
“His first proper smile happened at 5 weeks, he held his own bottle for the first time at 14 weeks, first teeth came through at 24 weeks. There’s lots of other things, big and small, jotted down on the list.”
As lovely as imaginings of Hakavai’s excellent efforts are, Turia says she actually is less of a ‘milestone’ person than you might think. In fact, she admits, she has kind of given up on noting down these kinds of firsts. It’s all for a very good reason. We’ll let Turia explain.
“The best times I’ve had with Hakavai weren’t based around the milestones. The best times are the really small moments. The ones that might otherwise pass you by. Like watching him play with his toys in the early morning light, marvelling at his tiny fingers as he moves blocks around with intense focus.”
MORE Learning and Development
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Once again Michael beats me in the Tropicana wardrobe stakes. Before you ask, the necklace I’m wearing is actually a one-off, super special, bespoke design created by Hakavai. He took one of my headbands, ripped off half the shells and then put a ring on it. Also Boink put a ring on @gemmawestgate today so it was a v. enjoyable arvo for all. Thanks for the call up legends! ❤️
“Really small moments”
The little things really are the big things, and sometimes we do need reminding of that. Thanks, TP!
It’s also clear that this soon-to-be-mum-of-two is learning as much from her little boy as he’s learning from her.
For instance, he’s shown her that some of the best bits of life are based on being in the moment, being open to what’s unfolding around you and being self-aware. A lot of being, granted, but important being we think you’ll agree.
“You don’t have to finish every task you’ve set out to achieve this year,” Turia points out, perhaps again taking inspiration from her cute kiddo and his curious, awe-struck approach to the world.
“If you’re not getting any value out of the process, if there’s no delight in it for you, if there’s no greater reason behind it, you don’t have to keep going,” she continues.
“Don’t spend your life checking off some list because ‘you should’ do it. Your time is precious. Spend it on the stuff that’s actually precious to you.”
Like snuggling with your toddler. Or growing a whole new baby. In Turia’s case, at least.
More excellent advice from an excellent human. Carry it with you today and things are sure to be much peachier.
Now look at this beautiful bump!
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I just wrapped up a delightful and restorative stay at the impeccable @soulofgerringong. Went without Michael and Hakavai (had to take his sibling tho 🤷🏽♀️). This is how each day went down: I woke up early (before the sun and the birds) to write, then I’d head to the beach for a waddle, my olfactory nerves going into overdrive with the heady mix of salt and surf. Then I’d head back to Soul, a meticulously restored sanctuary set amongst opulent palms and manicured grass (the type that wouldn’t dare grow over the smooth stepping stones set throughout the garden). I’d plunge myself into the cold pool, emerging feeling like I’d taken a shot of energy intravenously. I’d have a warm shower in the garden, and set my intentions for the day. At the close of each day, I’d sink into my warm, soft nest of a bed, dreaming sweetly of fields of lavender and inky blue butterflies. And then I drove home. As soon as I crossed the threshold I was confronted with Hakavai’s stuffed toys and blocks littering the stairwell (he likes throwing his possessions through his baby fence), the lounge cushions strewn across the dining room like giant marshmallows and sticky pads of orange remnants on the floor. Back to reality, I guess! So if you can, go to Soul! It’s lovely. If you can’t, acknowledge (and accept) that you’re not always going to be capable of crafting the perfect routine. Life can and will get in the way. Keep it simple, focus on what makes you feel good and the rest will follow. And I reckon it’s worth creating a really simple morning routine that sets you up for the day in under ten minutes. Something you can do anywhere (even with a small child screaming at you from behind the door) to get your mind right. I’ve outlined my own ten minute routine inside my mini-course – called, rather imaginatively, my Morning Mindset Routine! If you need some tips to get started, it’s got you covered. Link in bio!
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I gave up. Before I had Hakavai, I had this idea that I would record all the important milestones in his little life. I thought it would be cool to reflect on when he was older. Also, I like data. But, you know that about me already. So, for the first six months or so, I kept a little note open in my phone. Every time he reached a significant milestone (well, significant to me – his first time wearing a gangsta cap was important, OK? That happened on March 14, in case you were curious). His first proper smile happened at 5 weeks, he held his own bottle for the first time at 14 weeks, first teeth came through at 24 weeks. There’s lots of other things, big and small, jotted down on the list. And then, at 44 weeks, I have the last record I made – his first unassisted steps. It might seem out of character for me (someone who has an entire online course dedicated to helping people achieve their goals) to say this, but: Sometimes we don't finish the challenges we set for ourselves. And that’s OK. The best times I’ve had with Hakavai weren’t based around the milestones. The best times are the really small moments. The ones that might otherwise pass you by. Like watching him play with his toys in the early morning light, marvelling at his tiny fingers as he moves blocks around with intense focus. You don't have to finish every task you’ve set out to achieve this year. If you’re not getting any value out of the process, if there’s no delight in it for you, if there’s no greater reason behind it, you don’t have to keep going. Don’t spend your life checking off some list because “you should” do it. Your time is precious. Spend it on the stuff that’s actually precious to you. Turia xx PS – Wanna know how to make those precious times last longer? Gratitude, mate. Gratitude. You also know this about me, but I practise gratitude every single morning. It’s a little bit of mind magic, and you can do it too. I outline it all in my little mini Morning Mindset Routine – hit the link in my bio for more ✨✨✨