#HELP I have a ‘velcro’ baby: How do I help her with her separation anxiety?

When the mother of a very clingy nine-month-old asked for advice on how to help her little one cope with a severe case of separation anxiety, our community of very helpful parents came to the party with the type of practical and friendly advice that can only come with years of personal parenting experience.

Here’s the advice they had to offer to help everyone involved keep calm and get through this developmental stage:

#HELP! I’m just looking for some advice for my 9 month old. From about 6 months she has been a typical “velcro” baby and whilst I know this is to do with separation anxiety and it should pass with time, I’m at a loss at to how to support her through it. She doesn’t like any solo play time, doesn’t seem interested in any toys and needs me to be there constantly. It’s also not enough for me to be in the same room as her and I have to physically be sitting next to her otherwise she will have a complete meltdown. How long did this period last for other people’s babies and was there anything that assisted at the time?

Embrace the cling 

It’s definitely their personality. My first has never been a clingy child, my second has been a Velcro baby for the time she was born…currently 18 months. Most days I try to remind myself that in a few years time she won’t even want to know me, let alone smother me with cuddles. I try my best to stay cool with it and have had to adjust expectations regarding what I can and can’t get done for now. It’s also important to ensure when your partner is home that you take time out just for yourself. – Ellen Howle 

It’s personality. My first was never like that, my second was like that from he day he was born basically! He’s just turned 2 now and we are still superglued together. Never anyone else, not daddy, just wants mummy attached to him at all times. – Melissa Rosenzweig 

My Velcro baby is about to turn 5. He’s fine going other places (pre school etc) but still comes running up to me periodically for cuddles and reassurance. Not sure that he’s ever going to change ??‍♀️ – Erin Woolstencroft 

Don’t force it

Unfortunately the more you try and separate, the more she will cling … it sucks and it’s hard, but she needs to feel secure (in her mind) before she will explore her surroundings. Do you have a baby carrier?? I’d invest in a good one and wear her so you can get things done! At this age she will probably enjoy the back carry position as she will be able to see everything you are doing ? – Nic Mutton 

It really IS a phase

It’s an age and development thing totally appropriate. My son went through the same thing. Start off small and sit a bit further away reassuring her you are right there. Then maybe sit on the couch while she is playing. It will take time but will get better for you both. My son is not as bad now but still prefers me to sit and play with him at 2.5 years old. He goes to child care 2 days a week purely to gain skills without me there and it has helped the last 6 months. – Hayley Veche

My son is 2y 7m and is still like this. He is getting better where he will play a bit on his own but is still very stuck. 
There will come a day where he will go to school and I hope he is a bit more independent, but till then I’m going to enjoy him while he needs me ? He’s growing way to fast as it is. – Rebecca BakerBek Woodley 

You can read all the helpful advice given, on the original Facebook post here:

 

This post is sponsored by Nurofen For Children