TV presenter, broadcaster and model Bec Judd is mum to four great kids, but when she gave birth to her first child the bonding process was far from instant.
The Baby Bible
Bec and husband Chris Judd are mum and dad to six-year-old Oscar, four-year-old Billie and one-year-old twins, Darcy and Tom. Bec’s just released her first book, a parenting manual based on her own busy life, and she opens up about the realities of bonding with her newborn.
Bec admits it took a little while for things to fall into place, when it came to falling in love with her baby, and suggests that her response to baby Oscar is more common than we might think.
“When Oscar came out, I felt nothing but complete shock. I knew I was supposed to have this feeling of overwhelming, intense love … but I didn’t,” she writes in her book, The Baby Bible. “‘What’s wrong with me’, I wondered. ‘Aren’t I meant to feel like a lion with her cub?'”
Read more on bonding with your baby:
- 7 ways for dads to bond with their new babies
- 11 ways to strengthen the bond with your baby
- Here’s the truth about bonding with your baby
Slow and steady
Bec says her worries about AWOL maternal instinct were quickly erased … by an overwhelming rush of love for her baby boy. She hopes other mums allow themselves the time to adjust to their newborn, and don’t judge themselves too harshly if bonding is less “instant” than they envisaged.
“It was like an old Disney cartoon — birds chirping, orchestra playing. I fell in love fast and hard. It was utter, utter bliss.”
“But if you don’t feel that right away, don’t despair. You will feel it eventually, I promise. And when you do, it will be just as wonderful as you imagined it to be.”
Bec told The Australian Women’s Weekly that around half of her mum girlfriends have reported this slow start to connecting with their babies.
“You hear when this baby comes out and it’s all tears and it’s almost like you can hear this magical music playing, and it wasn’t like that. I was in shock,” she told the AWW.
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LAUNCHED 🚀My first book #TheBabyBible is officially on sale! So what’s in it you may ask? – a month by month guide of what’s happening to you and your baby with my personal pregnancy stories woven in (all the good stuff, ALL the gory stuff) – My dream team of medical professionals; Ob/gyn @drlenkliman, Ultrasound specialist Dr Andrew Ngu, midwife @midwifecath, paediatric sleep scientist @mcgill.amanda and women’s health physio @shirakramerwhphysio who contribute with their expertise and answer every question I could throw at them. – The different routines I used for all my babies based on professional advice I sought. – Lists! What to pack for hospital, what gear you need at home, what to take when you travel with a newborn. – Pregnancy beauty, skincare and fashion advice. – How to style the nursery, where to shop – Baby shower fun – Recipes I cooked and demolished while growing my bump/s – Pregnancy safe exercise routines to support core and pelvic floor as prescribed by @shirakramerwhphysio (and used by me for all three pregnancies). – Breastfeeding, labour and PND info and where to go for help – plus lots more!!! Thanks to @laurenssams @thelighthaus and @allenandunwin for all your help 😘
A steep learning curve
Being a mum doesn’t come easily for everyone, and women who are struggling with complex emotions after the birth of their baby often feel isolated and ashamed.
It’s so important to realise that there’s no “right” response to having a child, and to support mums who are finding the learning curve a little too steep.
If you, or someone you know, are having trouble adjusting to life with a baby, you are not alone. The brilliant staff at PANDA are on hand to help. Please get in touch. They can provide support and advice, and assist new parents during this big life-changing transition.