“To the girl who hated my pregnancy announcement” – one woman’s message of hope

Posted in Conception.

A woman’s open apology on Facebook for her pregnancy announcement has gone viral as her heartfelt message of hope and empathy hits home for women everywhere struggling with infertility.

“I’m so sorry”

Not the words you’d expect to see in a happy announcement on social media from a woman pregnant with her first child after a long struggle with infertility. But Amber Stone Williams knows exactly what it’s like to see “yet ANOTHER Facebook post” on your newsfeed and feel sick to your stomach, angry, jealous and an “emotional hot mess” when it’s not you doing the announcing.

Says Amber: “I know your heart is breaking into a million pieces all the while you are digging way down deep to express just an ounce of joy for the parents to be. I’m so sorry.” She gets it because she “was that girl” and now with thousands of shares and comments it seems her apology and message of understanding is resonating with hopeful mums-to-be everywhere.


A long journey

After a long 17 months of infertility, Amber says, “This season of our lives has been hard. I’m talking all capital letter HARD. It’s been ugly, heartbreaking, and full of hope that ends in despair.” Turning to her faith was what ultimately helped her cope.

“476 days of infertility.
Thousands of dollars in medical bills.
11 months of Clomid.
Injection after injection.
Prescription after prescription.
Ultrasound after ultrasound.
Hundreds of needle pricks.
5 IUIs.
Months of failed treatments.
And 2 pink lines to remind me how faithful my God is in the midst of it all and that it was worth every single second.”

Despite it being extremely tough, in her post Amber also gratefully acknowledges what the experience taught her.


Amber learned to believe in her faith and not give up. “Let’s be real: conceiving is an absolute M-I-R-A-C-L-E. In the small amount of research I have done, I have learned just what all has to happen for a baby to be formed. And wow… It’s such a one in a million miracle. Choosing to have faith in one of the darkest times of my life has allowed me to keep my eyes on Him rather than dwelling in my own sorrow.”


She also embraced patience. “Waiting is no fun. But in my waiting, my eyes have been opened. They have seen the devastation and the depression that takes place while you wait. The unexplainable sadness that completely overwhelms every inch of your body. While waiting may not be what you’d choose, it is necessary to realize the miracle that will unveil before your very eyes.”


Compassion was another thing gained, which appears to be what prompted Amber to write the post in the first place. “My heart has completely changed. I see you over there holding that sweet baby in the nursery longing and dreaming of the day you hold your own. I see you cringe when you get asked once again when you’re going to have a baby and you just want to punch them in the face and cry all at the same time. I see you avoiding your pregnant friend like the plague because it’s just too hard…”

Amber wants women to know they’re not alone

A message of hope

“So, this is for the girl who got another negative pregnancy test this morning… to the girl who has no idea why this is so hard for her… to the girl whose heart is so bitter… to the girl who has lost a child due to miscarriage or heartbreaking circumstance… to the girl whose adoption process has failed once again… to the girl who has one child but can’t seem to get pregnant again… I love you.”

Whilst Amber’s post is a genuine letter of empathy for all the women out there desperately wanting to fulfil their motherhood dreams, it’s also an inspiring message of love and hope with Amber even offering prayers for other women. “I pray for your hearts to be softened and for you to not feel alone. Because you aren’t.”

Congratulations to Amber on her pregnancy, and good luck to all those still yet to make their announcements.Save


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