4 classic meltdowns Married At First Sight stole from the toddler playbook
If you’re tuning into Married at First Sight on the reg – despite your better judgement – perhaps you’ve already noticed that the cast have much in common with very small children.
Your hunch is totally spot on and in the name of sanity we’ve dug a little deeper into the matchy-matchy behaviour of the ‘wives’ and ‘husbands’ on MAFS …
1. Ice cream meltdown
Susie and Billy – who you have to admit sound like the perfect toddler buddies – revealed they’d squabbled over an ice-cream because Susie snatched it from Billy and ran away, gleefully slamming the door on her playmate.
“Last night, I got us ice-cream. I thought that we could have a five-minute conversation,” a teary Billy explained.
“Susie was ready for bed. She grabbed the ice-cream, said ‘Goodnight’ and closed the door.”
I think we’ve all been here. Sharing is hard.
Read more entertainment stories:
- Russell Brand went on Bake Off and made a shortbread tribute to childbirth
- Why dads are feeling judged by Bandit’s too-good-to-be-true parenting
- Did MAFS newbie Susie really call her daughter Baby? Yes she did. Here’s why
2. Sticks and stones meltdown
You possibly know that Mick the laconic thong-ed farmer was matched with Jess the pouty femme fatale. When Jess consistently refused to play with Mick (as is her right, we must say) he responded by saying a lot of rude words, acting out and making fun of others.
Some much fruitier language than “poo-poo head” burst forth from Mick’s mouth as he wrestled with his feelings about Jess preferring to run around with the other boys in the playground.
#YoureNotMyFriend
3. The “I don’t like wearing this!!!” meltdown
When Jess decided she’d have a crack at one of the other boys (Damn Daniel aka Meal Not A Snack) she sidled up beside him and began chattering away, occasionally poking her tongue out because sometimes you do that when you like a boy.
Eventually she got all hot and bothered – as toddlers are wont to do – and began trying to take her dress off. It’s probable she was not really considering an undie-run around the dining room, but look you just never know because Susie turned up in her underwear on Sunday night and everyone tried to ignore it.
4. The “I want the other one!” meltdown
When now-departed Ines was matched with Bronson, she could not have been more cross. It was like she’d been given the blue bowl when she really wanted the red one. Or had her sandwiches cut into triangles instead of squares. Sigh.
What she really wanted was Lizzie’s husband Sam, but once she’d caught him – and indeed built a blanket fort with him – he told her he was ‘just tricking’ and ran very, very far away.
And what was the Sam-spurned bride Lizzie up to at that point? She was doing what clever toddlers do – putting things where they don’t belong (think car keys in the loo, jar of honey down the back of the couch, fish fingers in your sock drawer.)
Except in this case, the thing did belong because putting a slice of cold pizza in the toaster is a stroke of genius. I tried it and it reheated last night’s Hawaiian PERFECTLY!
#IntoTheMouthsOfBabes #ToddlerEinstein #LizzieWins
