All parents feel it – the mummy or daddy guilts. And here is why you shouldn’t.
Okay mummies and daddies, it’s been a long week. So let’s just take some time to put our feet up and reflect on our role as parents. Yes, being a mum or dad is the best job in the world. They grow up so quickly. Blink and you will miss it. Cherish every moment, but, all clichés aside, it’s hard work!
What makes it even trickier is the constant stream of advice coming at us – from studies, from friends, from the internet. While it can be helpful, it can also leave us questioning our ability to trust our instincts.
And thus the ‘mummy guilts’ develop. So we at Babyology put together a few things that you most likely will feel guilty about at some stage in your parenting journey. And we’ve got some pretty good reasons why you really shouldn’t.
Obsessing over sleep
I swear the first twelve months of life with a new baby is all about sleep. And self settling. But if you’re tired of hearing about all the other mums who have mastered the fine art of self settling and you are still up at 2am, walking around the house trying to get baby to transfer from your arms and then giving in and letting bub sleep in your bed, it’s okay. Don’t feel guilty – sleep will eventually return to your household. It may just take one or 13 years.
Toys stop tantrums, okay. The end.
Wanting to go to work
It’s perfectly normal to miss the mental stimulation that work can provide. And it’s perfectly okay to want to return to this world, especially if you enjoy your job. As much as you love playing with your baby, there are only so many Playdoh snakes you can make before you may start missing adult social interaction.
Letting your toddler leave the house with two different shoes on
Because sometimes the argument is not worth the fight. You have to choose your battles. So, go ahead, let your child wear one yellow thong and one pink ballet slipper, even if they are both for the left foot.
Sometimes babies decide they need to be fed or rocked at the exact same moment you put the pasta on the stove and leave it on high heat. And sometimes you forget it’s still there, boiling into burnt pieces of yellow slop 25 minutes later. But it’s okay. It happens. And that’s why there’s takeaway.
Counting down the seconds until bedtime
Days with infants, toddlers and children are long. There is no lunch break. And there is no 5pm knock-off time. So it’s okay to look forward to your alone time after they go to bed. It’s okay to put them to sleep an hour early once daylight savings hits. We promise you, they will be in your bed, giving you a cheeky smile and a morning cuddle all the same.
Yelling in public
Because sometimes they just don’t listen. And your voice travels better in public places. So it’s actually better for your vocal chords. End of discussion.
Letting your baby cry
There is so much conflicting evidence about the controversial Cry it Out method. And we’re not saying you should do it. But it’s okay to let your baby cry every once in a while. Give yourself a breather. Put bub in the cot. Walk away for five minutes or take ten deep breaths. And try again.
Please. If you can’t breastfeed or choose not to, do not feel guilty about it! Breastfeeding is great for baby, yes, and has its advantages but formula feeding does too. Trust that you are doing the right thing. You’re the parent.
So take a few minutes at the end of the day to cherish the alone time. Drink several cups of coffee if you haven’t slept much the night before. And eat that last piece of chocolate alone in the dark pantry where the children can’t find you. Because we are right here with you, doing the exact same thing!
Chocolate tastes so much better in the dark anyway.