9 things all great mum friends say to each other and you need to hear, too

Posted in Wellbeing.

My mum friends mean the world to me. Not only do they understand every aspect of my crazy, tired, busy, frustrating, joyful life, they support and encourage me through it. I honestly don’t think I could do any of it without them. They. Are. The. Best.

If you also have friends like this, then lucky you. These amazing women know just what to say to lift you up and to keep you going, even during the hard times … actually, especially during the hard times.

But if you don’t, then you need to hear a few things, not just because you deserve to (which you absolutely do), but because they’re true.

1. You are a good mum

Ah, this one is music to every guilt-ridden, self-doubting mum’s ears. Whenever I feel like I am failing at some aspect of motherhood, one of my angelic friends will remind me of this truth. And she’s right. I am a good mum; and you are too. We just struggle like all mums do from time to time. Being told I am a good mum is probably the one thing I, and all of my fellow mums in the trenches need to hear. It is the ultimate mum pick me up.      

2. Trust your instincts

A good mum friend just knows to remind you that you’ve got this. She will encourage you to listen to your inner voice and to go with your gut. She believes in you and I do, too. You know your child better than anyone or any parenting book does.  

Two friends laughing cafe - feature

3. I’ve been there too

Even if she doesn’t have the answer to your toddler wanting to start his day at 4.30am, she’ll commiserate with you, because she’s been there too. This friend knows that she doesn’t need to have a solution, because sometimes? There just isn’t one.

4. Whatever works

The best thing about a worth-their-weight-in-gold mum friend is that she never judges you. She couldn’t care less if you let Peppa Pig babysit so you can have a break, or that your four-year-old needs a dummy to sleep. Her mantra is ‘whatever works’ and it’s comforting to hear, because it’s the truth. We all have to balance our mental health with the health and wellbeing of our children.

5. You’re doing great!

This one is up there with ‘you’re a good mum’ but is often said when we feel we aren’t doing a great job at the whole work/life/motherhood/family juggle. Listen to her during these times because she’s looking at you from the outside and she’s in awe of you. She will help you to better cope (see below), but she also wants you to give yourself some credit.  

6. I’ll help you

A good mum friend doesn’t just say ‘do you need any help’? or ‘What can I do for you to make it easier?’ She just knows. She will tell you to drop the kids to her when you have a doctor’s appointment, and she’ll even make you a lasagne to take home for dinner. 

7. I totally get it!

It doesn’t matter if you are venting about your mother in-law or confessing that you sometimes give YOURSELF time out in your kids’ room. She is always on your side and supportive of your thoughts and feelings. She wants you to be forgiving of yourself though. 

8. Look how much you are loved

Bless the mum friend who regularly points this one out to you. She is observant of the beautiful bond you have with your little ones and wants you to see this as the fruit of all your hard work. Remember: they need you, but they love you just as much.

9. Want some wine?

Ah, the mum who says these three words when you pop over for a play date is the bomb. She understands that motherhood is the greatest and hardest job in the world and that vino is also sometimes medicinal. She always wants to take the edge off with you and have a laugh. SHE is also medicinal.

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