My mum friends mean the world to me. Not only do they understand every aspect of my crazy, tired, busy, frustrating one minute but then heart-exploding joy the next life, they support and encourage me through it. I honestly don’t think I could do any of it without them. They. Are. The. Best.
If you also have friends like this, then lucky you. These amazing women know just what to say to lift you up and to keep you going, even during the hard times, actually especially during the hard times. And if you have these kinds of friends in your circle, then chances are you are also one to them. Bless you, mama!
Here are a few things these special friends say to each other often which enables us to keep mumming the way we do. All power to mum friends!
1. You are a good mum
Ah, this one is music to every guilt-ridden, self-doubting mum’s ears. Whenever I feel like I am failing at some aspect of motherhood, one of my angelic friends will remind me of this truth. And she’s right. I am a good mum; I just struggle like all mums do from time to time. Being told I am a good mum is probably the one thing I, and all of my fellow mums in the trenches need to hear. It is the ultimate mum pick me up.
2. Trust your instincts
A good mum friend just knows to remind you that you’ve got this. She will encourage you to listen to your inner voice and to go with your gut. She believes in you and wants you to succeed as well. She also knows that you know your child better than anyone or any parenting book does. For this reason, she is the confidence boost that you need.
3. I’ve been there too
Even if she doesn’t have the answer to your toddler wanting to start his day at 4.30am, she’ll commiserate with you, because she’s been there too. This friend knows that she doesn’t need to have a solution, but instead offers bucket loads of empathy and understanding.
4. Whatever works
The best thing about a worth-their-weight-in-gold mum friend is that she never judges you. She couldn’t care less if you let Peppa Pig babysit so you can have a break, or that your three-year-old needs a dummy to sleep. Her mantra is ‘whatever works’ and it’s comforting to hear, but also a reminder to not take this parenting thing too seriously.
5. You’re doing great!
This one is up there with ‘you’re a good mum’ but is often said when we feel we aren’t doing a great job at the whole work/life/motherhood/family juggle. Listen to her during these times because she’s looking at you from the outside and she’s in awe of you. She will help you to better cope (see below), but she also wants you to give yourself some credit.
6. I’ll help you
A good mum friend doesn’t just say ‘do you need any help’? or ‘What can I do for you to make it easier?’ She just knows. She will tell you to drop the kids to her when you have a doctor’s appointment, and she’ll even make you a lasagne to take home for dinner. She has your back and is love in action.
7. I totally get it!
It doesn’t matter if you are venting about your mother in law or confessing that you sometimes give YOURSELF time out in your kids’ room. She is always on your side and supportive of your thoughts and feelings. She wants you to be forgiving of yourself though.
8. Look how much you are loved
Bless the mum friend who regularly points this one out to you. She is observant of the beautiful bond you have with your little ones and wants you to see this as the fruit of all your hard work.
9. Want some wine?
Ah, the mum who says these three words when you pop over for a play date is the bomb. She understands that motherhood is the greatest and hardest job in the world and that vino is also sometimes medicinal. She always wants to take the edge off with you and have a laugh. SHE is also medicinal.
This article was originally published on August 2, 2018.