Hilary Duff and partner Matthew Koma welcomed their first child – a gorgeous daughter named Banks – together in October of 2018.
“We have a sleeping baby”
Hilary was already mum to a six-year-old boy named Luca, but the runs she had on the board with parenting has not made adjusting to baby number two much easier. Over the last couple of months, Hilary’s spoken about Banks’ battle with colic and described how hard it can be to even get out of the house.
On Instagram this week, Hilary revealed that she’d called in a baby sleep expert to save her sanity – and the development has been hotly discussed. Because it’s Instagram. Sigh.
“We have a sleeping baby!” Hilary wrote alongside a photo of her beaming self, Banks and baby expert Kimberly.
“Baby whisperer/ genius/ brilliant /calm and loving Kimberly (actually baby care specialist and postpartum doula) spent this rainy weekend with us and got our sweet girl sleeping!”
“Running on adrenaline”
Hilary explained that Banks had been caught up in a vicious sleep cycle that was not doing anyone any good.
“The poor thing was running on adrenaline,” Hilary wrote. “Literally not sleeping unless she had a warm human to sleep on and even then 30-40 minutes max! Not realistic for our lives with going back to work and another child!”
“Babies NEED sleep,” she continued, “and our little girl is the happiest I have ever seen her! She slayed 11 hours last night and woke up with the biggest gummy smile I have ever seen!”
Banks now has “the tools to fall asleep on her own and it was so amazing (and a little emotional) to watch,” she explained noting this was “the right choice” for her family.
“I honestly didn’t remember what good sleep felt like! Pretty delicious!” Hilary posted.
“Why have a baby?”
Now while this might seem like brilliant news to the untrained eye, not everyone was pleased. Some comments under Hilary’s Instagram update did offer sincere congratulations. But people were also VERY quick to voice their disapproval.
“Does nobody ever wonder about how the baby is handling it?” one Instagrammer wrote. “All I see are moms that need sleep but no one is worried about the wellbeing of the baby. Not a fan of sleep training … I didn’t become a mom thinking it would be easy and I could just cut corners at the expense of my child.”
“I would never force an infant to be ‘trained’ for my convenience over biology,” another posted.
“How awful to sleep train your 3 month old,” another comment reads. “It’s normal for babies to wake frequently through the night … Why have a baby if you can’t be bothered waking up to attend to it … very disappointing.”
“Wouldn’t it be nice if we all had money like celebrities to hire people like this for ‘much needed sleep’.” another person posted. And there are LOTS more like that.
“I have been so worried for you”
The judgement is pretty incredible – and it really came thick and fast. Thankfully some kinder voices popped up and pointed out that Hilary said she’d doing what’s best for her family and Banks looks very happy.
“I’m not here to make other mothers feel bad for doing what they need to survive,” one mum commented.
“So happy for you! What techniques did she use to help Banks go to sleep on her own?” another person quizzed.
“Oh this is so terrific,” someone else commented. “I had been so worried for you. Being a mum is so hard! I’m so glad little Banks is sleeping for you and doing beautiful growing. Thank you for sharing with mums everywhere that it was hard!”
Indeed! Thank to Hilary for sharing the less glossy bits of mum life, and being open about her struggles – even in the face of such terribly harsh criticism.
Need some more baby sleep advice? Our Parent School sleep experts can help. Click to find out more or book a one-on-one session.