“Do you need to wee?” Plus 19 other things you’ll say 1,000 times a day

Posted in Behaviour and Discipline.

If you are A) a parent and B) your kids are little, then these phrases will spill daily out of your mouth – waaaay too many times to count.

So without further ado …

1. “Do you need to wee?”

If you are toilet training or even if your little one is now in school, you will ask this one until you are sick of the sound of your own voice. But even you are sick of asking, you will, because accidents happen – gah!

Playing boy

2. “One, two, THREE!”

“Don’t make me count to three,” you threaten like the number three is something to be feared. But somehow it works (well, sometimes) for getting a little person to sit still long enough to strap on a pair of sandals.

3. “Just wait”

A variation of this one might be, “Give me a minute”, “Hold on” or “I’m coming!” – whatever it is, it’s a phrase used to buy you some time while a little person is whining at you while you try to do something, anything – like send a text. It rarely works though. Sigh.

4. “I love you”

Because you do. SO MUCH. In fact, sometimes it feels like your heart might explode and so you have to smother her in kisses and whisper these three words – again.

Mum cuddling toddler in field

5. “Eat your dinner”

Sigh. Just eat it. PLEASE!!!

6. “We’re running late!

Because you always are and please, just hurry the F up!

7. “Use your words”

I know he wants me to fetch the toy car but, gosh, the whingeing! So we say, “Sweetheart, use your words.”

It’s ALL about language development.

8. “Have a banana”

“If you are still hungry, have a banana. I am not giving you another biscuit” – sound familiar?

9. “Shoes on”

Synonymous with the words, “We are running late” is “shoes on” – because chances are they aren’t and you’ve had to find the missing one from under the couch, before shoving a little hoof into them and bolting for the car.

Redhead toddler girl

10. “Sit in your car seat”

Then if you get to the car, you will spend the next ten minutes saying this one over and over with increasing volume as your little love explores the entire interior.

11. “Get out of the pantry”

“Eat a banana if you’re still hungry” …

12. Be careful …

Of the rocks you are jumping over, the play equipment you are scaling, the ducks you are chasing that might nip you, etc, etc.

13. “Watch where you’re going”

This phrase will be on repeat as you guide your little one, who refuses to hold your hand, from bashing into people and trolleys when at the shops.

14. “Say please/thank you”

This one is all about instilling manners and phrases like, “Ask me nicely”, “Where are your manners?” Or just ignoring or withholding giving something until you hear the magic words, fall under the same umbrella.

15. “Gentle”

Please pat the dog, instead of thumping him.

16. “Quickly!”

Again, this one doesn’t have the same effect when time is an abstract concept and there’s DUPLO that needs building.

17. “Please share”

Ah, the art of sharing. This is something that little people struggle to grasp, and as such, play dates will inevitably be about turn-taking, sharing and lots of eye-rolling to their other parent.

18. “What’s happening in here?”

This one is usually prefixed by the dreaded silence, which means SOMETHING is totally going on.

Just please don’t let it be spilt jelly crystals that have been stolen from the pantry on the carpet …

19. “Clothes back on”

Those of us with nudists for children will not bat an eyelid at this one.

The struggle is real.


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