Standing in her plush, light-filled bedroom with the tiniest hint of a baby belly showing, Hilaria Baldwin shared an important message with her fans.
“I want to share with you that I am most likely experiencing a miscarriage,” wrote the New York based celebrity, wife of Alec Baldwin and mother to his four children.
“The embryo has a heartbeat but it isn’t strong and the baby isn’t growing very much. So we wait – and this is hard. So much uncertainty – but the chances are very, very small we will have a viable pregnancy.”
View this post on Instagram
I want to share with you that I am most likely experiencing a miscarriage. I always promised myself that if I were to get pregnant again, I would share the news with you guys pretty early, even if that means suffering a public loss. I have always been so open with you all about my family, fitness, pregnancies…and I don’t want to keep this from you, just because it isn’t as positive and shiny as the rest. I think it’s important to show the truth…because my job is to help people by being real and open. Furthermore, I have no shame or embarrassment with this experience. I want to be a part of the effort to normalize miscarriage and remove the stigma from it. There is so much secrecy during the first trimester. This works for some, but I personally find it to be exhausting. I’m nauseous, tired, my body is changing. And I have to pretend that everything is just fine—and it truly isn’t. I don’t want to have to pretend anymore. I hope you understand. So, this is what is going on now: the embryo has a heartbeat, but it isn’t strong, and the baby isn’t growing very much. So we wait—and this is hard. So much uncertainty…but the chances are very, very small that this is a viable pregnancy. I have complete confidence that my family and I will get through this, even if the journey is difficult. I am so blessed with my amazing doctor, my dear friends, and my loving family…My husband and my four very healthy babies help me keep it together and have the perspective of how truly beautiful life is, even when it occasionally seems ugly. The luck and gratitude I feel that I am my babies’ mommy, is wonderfully overwhelming and comforting. In your comments, please be kind. I’m feeling a bit fragile and I need support. I’m hoping, that by sharing this, I can contribute to raising awareness about this sensitive topic.
Apparently 25 percent of pregnancies result in miscarriages – so we know they do happen. It’s just as Hilaria goes on to say, we don’t often share the “less shiny” part of that experience.
“There is so much secrecy around the first trimester. This works for some, but personally, I find this exhausting. I’m nauseous, tired and my body is changing. And I have to pretend that everything is fine – when really it isn’t.”
Read more on miscarriage:
- The dos and don’ts of supporting women after miscarriage
- Miscarriage made me feel like a failure
- Understanding miscarriage: What happens inside your body?
Hilaria’s fans reached out with their own stories of pregnancy loss
Hilaria’s poignant post touched a nerve with lots of her Instagram followers, with many reaching out to offer their support and gratitude for her openness, and to share their own stories of pregnancy loss.
One fan wrote: “I was 38 when I had my first and only child, and my heartbeat was and is strong for all my lost babies, I know yours will too!”
Another perfectly describes the emotional rollercoaster of trying to get pregnant: “The extreme excitement and the traumatizing sadness that follows is such a mind-screw. After multiple attempts, I have never had a baby.”
Others were grateful just to read her story: “Cannot find any other words than love you and thank you enough for your transparency and support of women.”
The pressures of the first trimester are unique
Hilaria’s thoughtful post does make you wonder – are we too secretive about the first trimester? It really is a time where you face a jumble of feelings – every joy comes with a side serve of worry.
You’re tired, super nauseous, and feeling all the feelings, but you don’t have much to ‘show’ for it yet. Then there is the mental game that is such a huge part of pregnancy. The what-ifs and worries for your unborn baby, that really do kick in during those early weeks. More so if the timing was not exactly perfect, or even a surprise.
Your mind is racing with a mix of how wonderful it will be to have a new baby, and all the logistics that come with adding to your family. And everything feels harder when you’re suffering from the first trimester headaches, nausea and even bad sleep.
All in all, it can be a difficult and emotional and draining time. Perhaps, as she suggests, it’s worth sharing our stories a bit earlier on, to normalise the enormous range of feelings that pregnancy can bring.