A mum has been slammed online for sharing how she appreciates cleaning up after her husband. And while this sounds absurd, her message is getting a whole lot of love, too.
Every day I pick up his towel
The post, intended to be about gratitude for her family life, starts off detailing her morning routine – in which she cleans up after her man.
Everyday I pick up the towel he hangs on our curtain rod & throw it on a hook in the bathroom, put his hair gel back in…
“Everyday I pick up the towel he hangs on our curtain rod & throw it on a hook in the bathroom, put his hair gel back in the bathroom drawer that was 3 in. from where he placed it, close literally every. dresser. drawer, and pick up at least two pairs of his shoes somewhere in the house,” writes Holly Simon. “Religious like.”
“As a younger wife (especially in the baby & toddler zone) this often made me irritated. ‘Don’t I have enough to clean up daily after the kids!’ Years ago I actually felt bitterness about it.”
Ah-ha. Yep. With you here, Holly.
“Somewhere along the line, though, that bitterness turned to something else. And I’m not talking about full-blown, blinding rage here (though I’m pretty sure that’s where it would wind up for most spouses).”
A change of perspective
But then Holly goes on to write something quite heartfelt – about how she’s grateful to have her husband, although he’s messy, in her life and that his strewn things are daily reminders to her that he’s with her, in so many ways.
“These little things represent his presence in our home. What if they weren’t there each day? What else would be missing from our lives?” she says.
It’s a change of mindset thing – choosing to be grateful for our men, rather than constantly irritated by their ‘things’ that aren’t put away.
The post is sort of sweet, that is until she refers to picking up after her husband as not only a woman’s “burden”, but also a “gift”.
Um. No. You’ve lost me, Holly.
“The scattered trail of his daily routine means I have a husband who keeps coming home,” she continues. “I’m not doing life on my own. I’m not raising my girls by myself. And that is a cause for gratitude, not irritation. If you’re in that mode sister, take a breath, this is a common attitude trap for us. And you’re most likely tired. But remember — it’s not ‘your burden’ it’s your gift.”
The internet is divided
While there have been lots of comments slagging the post and telling Holly that her man should be able to clean up after himself, such as:
“Congrats, you have a man child #blessed”
“Wow.. so you married a baby who can’t close a fucking drawer..?? Congratulations. You’re his mom now.”
Others have called the post an ‘eye opener’, tagging their partners with love heart emojis.
“I would rather pick up after you every day than to not have you at all ❤ love you ?,” said one.
“I’ll try to remember this perspective. I love you.?,” said another.
So far the post has had 41k likes, 11k comments and 45k shares, so clearly it has struck a chord – for better or for worse.
As for me
Personally, I have gone from being offended by this post, to reading it over and seeing Holly’s point (although I still have a problem with her implying that cleaning up after our men is our duty – a “gift”! BS. And also implying that all single-parent households must be “sad”).
My man knows how to shut a drawer and put his razor away, but he still kicks his shoes off all over the house. He claims he doesn’t ‘see’ them until I put them away in a huff. He is not a man-child. And I don’t mother him. I just get pissed off when he does this.
Likewise, I don’t ‘see’ the hair straightener I’ve left (switched off!) on the vanity that he’s tucked away in the drawer.
One day, I’ll miss his strewn shoes and he’ll miss seeing my crap in the bathroom.
I get that.
But I am still going to complain about the mess, it’s not my job or a “gift” to clean up after him but I will try to remember the sentiment behind Holy’s post. We are a family of mess-makers – all of us. But we are a family. And I am so grateful for that.
More posts about cleaning: