Former First Lady Michelle Obama felt “lost and alone” after miscarriage

Posted in Miscarriage.

Michelle Obama has just released her memoir and it provides a much more intimate view of the former First Lady. Prior to her role as First Lady, Michelle was a hospital administrator and lawyer. She can now add best-selling author to her CV.

Content note: This post discusses miscarriage.

View this post on Instagram

I’m thrilled to share with all of you the cover for BECOMING. The process of writing this book has been so personally meaningful and illuminating for me. As I prepare to share BECOMING this fall, I hope you’ll also think about your own story, and trust that it will help you become whoever you aspire to be. Your story is what you have, what you will always have. It is something to own. #BECOMING

A post shared by Michelle Obama (@michelleobama) on

“I felt like I failed”

The book is called Becoming and while it details political insight – like Michelle’s fears for a Trump era world – there are also some very candid reveals about her marriage and family life. Michelle speaks openly about her experience of miscarriage – and undergoing IVF to conceive her daughters Malia and Sasha.

Chatting to Good Morning America as part of her book tour, she said she felt “lost and alone” after enduring the loss of a baby.

  Read more about awesome, high-profile mums:

She told GMA that the silence that surrounds miscarriage can make women blame themselves and contribute to further pain.

“I felt like I failed because I didn’t know how common miscarriages were,” she explained. “Because we don’t talk about them. We sit in our own pain, thinking that somehow we’re broken.”

“It’s important to talk to young mothers about the fact that miscarriages happen,” she stressed.

Let’s start a conversation

It’s not just the sad experience of pregnancy loss that Michelle is keen to highlight. She’s hoping that woman to woman commentary about women’s’ bodies, in general, can be much more open, and the secrecy – and let’s face it SHAME – that surrounds some perfectly natural or difficult experiences can be abandoned.

“I think it’s the worst thing that we do to each other as women, not share the truth about our bodies and how they work,” she told Good Morning America.

She recounted that at 34 she became aware of some reproductive realities noting that “the biological clock is real” and “egg production is limited”. It was then that she and Barack began pursuing parenthood via IVF.

When Barack joined the state legislature and was far from home, Michelle says she gave herself the necessary IVF shots in the quest for Obama babies. Because that’s just the sort of brilliant woman she is.

“We get help with our marriage when we need it”

The former First Lady also spoke about working hard on the marriage so many see as a benchmark, and was keen to point out that it’s not always plain sailing.

“I know too many young couples who struggle and think that somehow there’s something wrong with them,” she explained. “I want them to know that Michelle and Barack Obama, who have a phenomenal marriage and who love each other, we work on our marriage. And we get help with our marriage when we need it.”

Now let’s look at the good old days of the Obama presidency, because Michelle would want us to. Sob. #TakeUsBack

The official White House photographer's best pictures of Obama

President Obama's time in The White House is nearing its end, but thanks to Pete Souza, the Chief Official White House Photographer, we have plenty of photos to remember it by. Here are some of the best.

Posted by CNN on Friday, 11 November 2016

If you – or someone you know – has experienced the loss of a baby, please visit to access resources and support.


Get more babyology straight to your inbox