Hilarious Easter egg dilation chart has us craving Cadbury Cremes

Posted in Birth.

A chart which features Easter eggs, in the exact size of a woman’s cervix during labour dilation, is doing the rounds on social media.

And while it’s totally weird, it’s also kinda cool – and well, yummy! 

Eggstraordinary cervix

The picture of the oval eggs in different sizes was shared by parenting blog Kalma Baby, as well as on social media.

Fancy sharing some of these with me?? We have our Easter special relaxation and yoga session on Monday 6:15pm at The…

Posted by KalmaMamas Gateshead on Thursday, 15 March 2018

From a tiny 1cm Mini Egg to a 2cm Lindt egg, a 3cm Dime Dairy Milk egg, 4cm Smarties egg, a 5cm actual boiled egg, 6cm Kinder Surprise, 7cm Milkybar egg, 8cm Cadbury Buttons egg, a 9cm Rolo egg and finally, to a 10cm Cadbury’s Easter Egg, the chart perfectly sums up the incredible dilation process, at a time when we’ve all got chocolate eggs on our minds. 

The only one that’s missing is the Cadbury Creme egg, but we would slot it in just before the actual boiled egg, as it is about 4cm in diameter. But why was it left off this chart?

Perhaps because sneaky Cadbury still sells these sickly sweet morsels year-round and as such, they don’t classify as ‘Easter’ eggs? Or it might be because of the outrageous Easter egg shrinkage scandal that has seen some of these eggs get smaller over the years, therefore making it hard to include them in a legitimate cervical dilation sizing chart? Who knows.

But I digress.

pregnant belly

Someone cancel Easter!

While some social media commentators have found the image gross – “yuck, cancel Easter!” others have found it funny: “I will never look at a Kinder Surprise egg the same!” 

Then others still, and perhaps you are in this boat too (?), are salivating right now … mmm, chocolate eggs.

Bring. On. Easter. 

Talking of eggs

If you are pregnant now, you may be thinking your belly resembles one of these eggs but like, times a squillion, depending on your size.

According to an old wive’s tale, if your bump is more of an eggy-shape, you are likely carrying low and therefore expecting a boy.

Whatever it is, one thing is for sure – that Easter Bunny better get a hop on so we can stop stealing the kids’ Easter eggs and having to replace them.

This chart isn’t helping. Yum!


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