“Bloody ridiculous” Sydney school bans birthday party invitations

Posted in Birthday.

Parents are labelling a new school policy which bans kids from handing out invitations to their birthday party at school as “stupid”.

No more party invites

Mosman Public School has established the ban in an effort to avoid feelings being hurt by kids who don’t get invited to the party, The Daily Telegraph reports.

Instead of the birthday boy or girl gleefully handing out colourful invites at recess, or at the school gate, the school wants parents to “covertly collect email addresses” from their intended guests and send the invitations electronically.

In addition, the parents have been encouraged to tell their little ones not to chat about their party during class time, just in case those who are not invited overhear.

Little girl at birthday party

Are we bubble wrapping our kids?

While the ban is intended to be sensitive and protect kids’ feelings, others see it as just another example of how modern parenting and schools try to bubble wrap our kids. 

“How bloody ridiculous,” one woman wrote on social media. “Missing out is part of life, and we need to teach these kids how to cope and deal with real life situations.”

Separation anxiety - child and mum

Lawnmower parenting or kindness?

The no-invites-at-school ban is reminiscent of the lawnmower parenting type, where parents, or in this case, the school, paves the way for our kids so they don’t struggle, get hurt, or experience disappointment – such as by not being invited to a birthday party. 

Or perhaps it’s just a kind policy?

Nobody wants to see their little one in tears because most of her class got a birthday party invitation to Eva’s unicorn party, but she didn’t. 

Building resilience

While it’s awful to see our little ones miss out, come last or experience any sort of disappointment, when they do, it helps to build up their resilience. Because building up resilience is what will help them when they are faced with life’s bigger problems down the track. 

But personally, I like the policy

As a mum of a kid in kindergarten who has a birthday coming up, I like this policy.

I hate seeing some kids bolt out of the classroom waving envelopes to their parents, and not others. Missing out just feels awful, especially when you are a little kid forming new friendships and a party invitation is proof that you have.

As such, I have been wondering how I should approach his party invites.

For a while, I’ve been thinking of inviting the whole class, which is crazy (20 kids! Eeks), but making it a fiver party (where party guests just put a $5 note in a card to go towards a gift that I buy on behalf of everyone. I was thinking I could give this after the cake, so everyone can see what they ‘bought’ the birthday boy). My thinking was a fiver party might make it more low-key and also stop my boy from getting gluttonous with gifts.

But I’ve also been thinking about all the parents coming who don’t drop and leave, and the siblings who may turn up too, and oh gawd, this thing is blowing up!

As such, this idea could be the solution! I could discreetly invite a few of his good friends, via an email to their parents, without upsetting any of the others in his class who don’t get an invitation.

Yes, they might still talk about the party while chowing down on their Vegemite sandwiches at lunch, but at least the ‘not invited’ kids won’t get it waved in their face in the form of a party invitation handed out at school in front of everyone. 

I think this idea is kind, considerate of feelings and yes, perhaps a little lawnmower, but I don’t think the policy benefits just the kids. It also solves many a party dilemma for parents, too.

I’m all for it!


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