When I was getting prepped for my c-section my husband was told to get changed into a pair of scrubs. As the anaesthetist ran an ice block down my legs to check if the epidural was working, I didn’t realise a bunch of nurses were outside laughing at my partner.
“Where are your pants?!” One nurse apparently exclaimed as my man stood before her in just his scrub top. This looked like a mini dress on him, which he accessorised with a pair of Vans sneakers.
Minutes later he was by my side (wearing pants) but it wasn’t until that night, as we were cooing over our new bubba, that he filled me in on his theatre dressing mishap.
“I was so stressed about getting to you and making sure you were OK, that I just put the top on because I thought it was a gown. I did wonder why it was so short though. Ha, at least I gave the nurses a good laugh!” he said.
It turns out he’s not the only partner who wasn’t thinking clearly under the stress of the birth of their child.
I asked my mum friends, as well as Babyology readers, to share their stupid partner moments at the birth stories. Have a read and a giggle, but let’s also be a little understanding. What might appear as insensitive may actually be a new parent-to-be feeling scared or in shock, and as such, not thinking before they speak. Still, new dads-to-be, take note.
“I’m so exhausted”
When her partner told her he was “exhausted” after her 18-hour labour, it didn’t sit well with this new mama
“I said ‘You’re exhausted? What about me?!’ He said ‘At least you had a bed to sit on and lay down on, I was standing the whole time!”
He almost got nude
When the nurses told this new mum’s partner to keep an eye on her in the shower post-delivery because she was feeling dizzy, he started to get undressed.
“He was down to his daggy grey Y-fronts ready to jump in the shower! The nurses had to explain that they just meant for him to keep watch on me, not get in there too.”
Dinner and a show
There is a time and place for jokes but it’s not immediately after pushing out a baby.
“I had to get stitches for a second-degree tear,” explains one Mumma. “While my legs were up in the stirrups, my husband sat watching, eating my lunch, and said “dinner and a show”.
Angry Birds = angry mama
Remember Angry Birds? The game was very popular when this mum gave birth:
“My husband would not stop playing angry birds on his phone while I was in labour and my waters were all over the floor and I was slipping over – the game had not long come out and he was obsessed. I told him to stop playing or I’d throw his phone out the window. I was the angry bird that day.”
“He took selfies”!
We all want those first photos but there are definitely some we don’t want.
“I asked my husband to take a photo (of our son being born) and he proceeded to take three selfies with me while I was pushing … the third photo is me looking cross and pointing down to the baby being born.”
He did not just say that
An entire book could be written about the stuff partners shouldn’t say at birth, like this corker:
“After birthing like a boss for 12 hours with absolutely no pain relief, my husband turned to me and said ‘I don’t know why women make such a fuss. Labour’s not that hard.'”
“Why don’t you pop over for dinner?”
When you are nude from your waist down and your partner, who happens to know the assisting doctor in your c-section operation, invites him over for dinner:
“As my obs is performing the caesar, hubby leans over and says, ‘we should invite Paul (doc) and Emma (his wife) over for dinner’. I just stared at the big dope – uh the dude just saw my junk, that’s a no!”
Time for tea, and toast (not)!
This dad-to-be didn’t get the memo that eating toast, drinking tea and reading the paper is not what you do when your partner is in labour.
“Made me very insane with rage. Or that might have been the whole birthing a human thing. Either way, not the thing to do!” says the mum.
Just like having your tonsils removed
The new mama’s partner compared her birth pain to having his tonsils removed, really:
“I had my tonsils removed and it hurt more than that,” he said after her delivery to the shocked midwife and angry mum.
Then there were lots of hungry dads who succumbed to McDonald’s drive through en route to the hospital:
“I had to hide my contractions while you were ordering,” laughed one mum tagging her partner in the Facebook call out for this story.
She wasn’t alone with a few others saying their partners also did this.
He fell asleep in front of me!
Yes, some labours are long but note to partners, try not to fall asleep:
“My fiancé fell asleep whilst I was at the hospital in labour. I was in too much pain to care at that stage though lol! He claimed he was tired as he had been up with me all night.”
Labour icks, we mean pics
We all want to record life’s memorable moments but there are some we would rather forget:
“I agreed to let him take nice (as nice as you can get) photos of me in labour and he only took one before the midwives gave him funny looks before he stopped. The one he took was of me chugging on the gas, naked, on the toilet.”
Worried about the parking ticket
This poor dad wasn’t thinking clearly at all when he suggested leaving the birthing suite to move his car from the 15-minute parking zone.
“The midwife and myself were yelling at him not to go anywhere. He was so worried about getting a fine that he was going to miss the birth!”
F!ck the playlist!
Even dads have birth plans with one wanting to create the perfect playlist for his partner.
“My husband sat in the corner of the room on his phone trying to sort out the perfect playlist. I really didn’t want music on, I just wanted him by my side.”
He played The Lion King song
Not so much stupid, but definitely sweet and funny is this one:
“When we introduced the baby to my parents he played The Lion King song.”
His poor arm
Complaining about your discomforts is definitely not what you should do at the birth of your baby:
“After four hours of rubbing my back, he told me after our first was born that his arm hurt from all the rubbing.”