“Recoiling in horror” Mum has mixed feelings about new birthday party trend

Posted in Birthday.
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A mum has popped up on parenting forum Mumsnet to question whether a new party trend is a brilliant idea … or a bit of an entitled cash grab.

Fiver party dilemma

“I’ve just been reading about fiver parties and wondered what other people think?” the mum posted.

“Part of me thinks, yeah I’d stick a fiver in a card rather than the mission to find a reasonably priced gift that I’m not sure birthday child wants. BUT the Brit in me is recoiling in horror at the idea of asking other parents to give my child cash in order to reimburse the big gift I’d bought my child.”

“I’m not saying it’s wrong,” she elaborated. “I actually wouldn’t mind doing it, just hate the idea of asking for money I suppose.”

A fiver party is a birthday party where all the little guests bring a $5 note to go towards a big ticket present that the parents have bought and/or which the child really wants.

Grabby or genius?

She asked others if they were supportive of the fiver party or thought it turned birthdays into a transaction. Other parents were divided over whether the fiver party trend was helpful … or showed bad manners.

Some parents thought asking for money was entitled and ill-mannered.

“It seems a bit joyless to me for little kiddies!” another parent posted. “My children like seeing what their specific friends get them.”

“I would’ve happily stuck a fiver a card until I was ASKED for one in the invite,” a commenter admitted. “I realise that it is pragmatic but I’m just allergic to presumption and grabby-ness.”

“I don’t like it,” someone else responded. “For me, it’s not really in the spirit of gift giving. It’s all about maximising what you can do with the money the guests would spend on a present. Not a good thing to teach kids in my view.”

The (fiver) war on waste?

But others noted that this trend eliminates unwanted gifts, saves money and means the birthday child enjoys a gift they really want.

“I think it’s a good idea,” one mum suggested. “Presents usually cost more and it does all add up.”

“I’d much rather a fiver in a card than lots of presents that get looked at once then are just clutter,” one mum pointed out.

“At my daughter’s school each parent takes a turn being in charge of the collection of a fiver from each classmate and buying a present from everyone,” another parent commented.

“It works so well! The birthday parent is always asked what their child would like and it ofter amounts to enough for a really big gift (think the most expensive huge Playmobil sets, a scooter etc), much better than lots of tat which would cost the same!”

Other still said their child would tally up all the fivers and use it to buy lots of small things anyway, so fiver parties didn’t always eliminate “lots of tat”.

We told you that parents were divided!

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