Harry Potter author JK Rowling has (once more) caused an absolute furore on Twitter, as she again brought up the fact that the witches and wizards of Hogwarts used to poop all over the freaking place.
Hogwarts didn’t always have bathrooms
Writing on the Pottermore Twitter account Rowling decided to renew this toilet talk in what she described as trivia – and fans described as some kind of horror story.
“Hogwarts didn’t always have bathrooms,” Rowling tweeted cheerfully. “Before adopting Muggle plumbing methods in the eighteenth century, witches and wizards simply relieved themselves wherever they stood, and vanished the evidence.”
— Addisen West (@TheAddisfaction) January 5, 2019
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Twitter responded by recoiling in horror and protesting very, very loudly and wishing she would just shut it down.
“I’m glad little children can imagine this now thank you,” one person seethed.
“The vanishing spell is considered one of the tougher OWL spells and is usually taught in the fourth or fifth year,” another Potter fan pointed out. “So younger students would have to take a dump in a corner and then go find someone to vanish it for them.”
This does not seem hygienic in any way, shape or form.
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A lot of people wanted JK Rowling to please stay away from Twitter altogether forever and ever amen because they’d heard enough about the random pooping.
“When your ‘fun fact’ destroys your entire universe,” someone else commented.
“Can you just … stop?” one pleaded. “Can we call it? Is it time to call it?”
They questioned her wisdom, her lack of filter and even the logic of the toileting story.
— p (@supxllo) January 5, 2019
As mentioned, this is not the first time JK has talked about witches and wizards pooping and we’re fairly certain it won’t be the last.
Apparently a couple of years ago she published an essay on Pottermore about The Chamber of Secrets. During Harry’s time at Hogwarts, the Chamber’s entrance was inside a bathroom, but the essay reveals that the entrance existed before the bathroom was built. When Hogwarts installed modern plumbing, the entrance to the Chamber got hidden underneath.
“This was a rare instance of wizards copying Muggles, because hitherto they simply relieved themselves wherever they stood, and vanished the evidence,” JK wrote.
While lots of people are freaking out about this poop reveal, this practice apparently only happened before plumbing was invented – when even non-magical types had to deal with poop in unseemly and unhygienic ways. When modern plumbing began popping up and toileting got more civilised, wizards and witches began using the toot just like regular people.