The other day my friend told me about her little one’s awful public tantrum in a shopping centre. It was brought on by her refusing to buy him a donut.
Oh yes, we’ve all been there!
Here’s what went down.
The ‘Oh, kill me now’ tantrum
Her little guy basically lost his sh!t outside that donut stall.
“It was epic. A huge screaming fit. I couldn’t calm him down. I couldn’t even offer him a banana in case he was hungry. But I wasn’t going to give in,” she told me.
“I needed to stand my ground. I knew if I buckled that it was going to set a ‘donut at the shops every time’ precedent, and also he’d learn the lesson that screaming is how to get what he wants,” she sighed.
“So we left. We’d pretty much got what we came for anyway. I had to carry him thrashing and wailing all the way to the car. Everyone was looking at us. I was so embarrassed.”
“When we got to the car park I just cuddled him. When he had calmed down a little, he ate that banana, which fixed everything.”
Yep, amazing what a little something, something in the tummy can do.
“Ah! That tanty sounds awful,” I sympathised.
“But hey, you are a good mum. And I would still say that if you’d bought him a dozen donuts. Those judgmental shoppers don’t know just how good you are.”
She said she felt better after the vent, telling me it’s always nice to hear those words.
And there it is.
Here’s why we need to spread the, ‘You’re a good mum’ message like it’s hot gossip.
1. We question ourselves all the time
As mums, we worry all the time if we are stuffing up our kids, or not doing the right thing by them. “Am I going to delay his learning if I don’t read to him tonight?” “Will he be malnourished if he doesn’t eat his veggies again?” “Am I giving him too much screen time?” that kind of thing.
The mum guilt can eat us away.
We fret that we may not be nailing this mum-gig. And we bite our nails over something someone said that MIGHT just imply that very thing.
2. We are not perfect
But here’s the thing. No one is a perfect mum! Every mum is just finding her way and doing what she can. And sometimes, she’s just doing whatever works to get through the day, and that’s OK too.
We’re all winging it and learning on the job.
And you know what, despite what we might think, we’re actually starring. Just ask your kiddo who thinks the world of you and feels so loved by how you’re doing as his mum.
But don’t look at Instagram mums. They are LIARS! No one is perfect.
3. We need the reminder
Because of the above, we need the reminder that we ARE indeed good mums. That our babies are lucky to have US. That even though we sometimes feel lost, unsure or that we might be ‘dropping the ball‘ on our kids a bit too much, that on the whole, we’ve got this.
We need to remind ourselves of this and we also need our support people to as well.
“You’re a good mum” is the reassurance, encouragement and compliment that every mum needs to hear.
So, mums, YOU’RE A GOOD MUM!
PS: If you, or someone in your circle, needs a little daily reminder of this, there’s a coffee mug for that!
Mug from Mug By Design.