“I will not lose my sh!t, I will not lose my sh!t, I WILL NOT LOSE MY SH!T …”
Lately, I have been chanting these words under my breath. It’s become my new motherhood mantra, and here’s why.
My boys are SO naughty
I know, I know ALL kids press their parent’s buttons, but my sons are going through a particularly naughty stage right now, and I’ll admit, I’m not coping well.
They are five and three and the mischief is beyond my control.
If they aren’t hiding under a blanket eating biscuits they have STOLEN from the pantry; they are whispering naughty things in each other’s ear as if it’s some kind of war on Mummy. This results in them doing things they know are going to make me yell, like running a roll of toilet paper all over the house, drawing with textas on the couch, escaping out the front gate and running up the street or trashing the pile of papers that have been ‘filed’ on the desk in a neat pile. Oh, I could go on and on, but I won’t.
I am SO sick of having to be on top of them. All. The. Time. Of reeling them in. Of following through with consequences that seem to have no lasting effect. In short, I am so over parenting.
But I am also over yelling and feeling fragile. And well, losing my sh!t at my kids … all the damned time.
So I am getting all Miranda Priestly
Remember the bitch Editor-In-Chief, Miranda Priestly, played by Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada? She never raised her voice and yet, everyone lived in constant fear of her.
Not that I want my boys to live in fear of me, but I’m starting to think they get a thrill out of me reacting to them … punishing them and basically losing my sanity.
So my little loves, I have a new tactic.
I am going to talk to you in a quiet but commanding voice like Miranda the next time you push me. I am not going to react when you’ve been blatantly naughty. Instead, I am going to withdraw my attention from you. I will tell you that I don’t want to be around you right now. You hate it when I do that. And when I do do that, you always want to make amends. You crave my cuddles and affection. You tell me you will try to be good boys and you even ask me to be your friend again.
So, next time I feel mum rage bubbling, I am not going to lose my sh!t – even if I do inside.