There is a sacred time in the life of a mum and it starts around 7:30pm.
If she’s lucky.
Don’t mess with mum’s golden hours
This golden time kicks off when everyone is asleep tucked away in their beds and she gets to either a) run around ticking off unfinished tasks like a boss, or b) collapse in a heap on the lounge to scroll through her phone and/or hog the remote.
Usually a bit of both.
Disturbing this golden hour comes with serious consequences. Anything other than a life-threatening request will be returned with a death stare.
With this in mind, here are two lists – one for dad and one for the kids – of stuff you can do (or NOT do!) to ensure the wrath of any tired mum in your proximity after 8pm at night. Only the brave should ever attempt these things. But we really wouldn’t recommend it …
10 actions guaranteed to peeve a super-tired mum (kids, beware!)
1. Hide the TV remote.
2. Hide the phone charger.
3. Accidentally lock her phone with too many incorrect passcode attempts.
4. Leave wet towels and bath toys on the bathroom floor.
5. Tell her “you’re not tired.”
6. Spill water/milk all over your sheets and pillow.
7. Get out of bed within 30 minutes of going to sleep and ask for a drink of water.
8. Pull out the school lunchbox from the fridge and start eating everything.
9. Leave LEGO (or other small toys) on the floor so she trips over them in the dark as she bolts out of the bedroom.
10. Take more than 45 minutes to fall asleep.
10 actions guaranteed to peeve a super-tired mum (dads, take note!)
1. Forget to turn on the dishwasher before going to bed so when she wakes up everything is still dirty and there is nowhere to put the breakfast stuff.
2. Forget to replace the last of the milk you used making that last cup of tea with. Which makes breakfast time (or late night requests for milk) a total nightmare.
3. Ditto bread.
4. Forget to take out the garbage – until the moment the garbage truck is in front of your house.
5. Basically,’forget’ to do whatever task you assured her you’d be helping her with.
6. Answer any of her questions with a shrug.
7. Turn the television up really, really loud and stop listening.
8. Leave empty toilet rolls to reproduce endlessly on the bathroom floor.
9. Use all the hot water in a nice long shower before bed.
10. Go to bed without locking up the house first.