“Stop kicking me!” 8 stages of sharing your bed with your little one

Most nights I end up spooning a little body into mine as he crawls into bed with me, and my husband bed hops to the couch.

That, or I just cuddle him off to sleep in there in the first place, knowing our bed is where he’ll end up.

Now I know many parents stamp down on this sort of ‘your bed is mine’ behaviour, but we are a family of accidental co-sleepers. I didn’t set us out on this path, but my little loves have decided that sleeping is a family activity. And to be honest, my hubby and I don’t mind, to a point.

But every night I have the same thoughts when sleeping in the same bed as a squirmy little worm.

Here’s what they are:

1. OK, come in, I’m your mum

When a warm little body silently positions himself in my ‘nook’ in the dead of night, I inwardly smile.

“I’m your mama, of course, I will cuddle you back to sleep,” I think, before drifting quickly back into the land of nod myself.

2. Ouch, stop kicking me!

Then not long after, I am rudely awoken by a kick to my back.

Argh, the hooves have come out, I think. Okay, just pop him back to ‘his’ side and wait it out.

Ouch!

Just do the above on repeat ten more times.

3. Oh, why does he have to touch me?

Then the kicking turns into seeking me out.

He somehow finds his way to me, no matter how many times I move him or place him so he’s vertical instead of horizontal on the bed. He’s suddenly made of velcro and WE NEED TO BE CONSTANTLY TOUCHING.

Okay, I will place my hand on his leg, so he feels my presence, but isn’t breathing IN MY FACE.

4. Nooooo, now he’s snoring

Okay, the kicking and the endless finding his way to me has stopped and I can sense he’s in a deep sleep. Yay. I will slide over to the very edge of the bed. This means I will soon go back to slee …

But wait?

Is he snoring?

5. What time is it?

I have been woken up so many times, it surely must be almost morning? Yawn.

But I don’t want to look at my phone in case it is, then I will NEVER get back to sleep.

6. I should move him

This is crazy. He’s fast asleep and I should just transition him to his bed.

Ah, what’s the point? He will just bed hop again and anyway, it’s too cold to get out from under this doona!

7. Sleep at last

Oh yay, he’s finally still, silent and I’m drifting off …

Sleep, sweet, sweet sleep I welcome you.

8. Those eyelashes!

It’s morning and I’ve already been up and flicked on the telly for my eldest.

Right now though, I am back in bed next to my snoozing little one as I sip a coffee and wait for him to wake up.

I feel like a newbie mum gazing at her newborn. Those eyelashes!

When he stirs, I put the coffee on the side table and pull him into me.

A few minutes later he’s smothering me with, “Morning Mummy!” kisses – and all is forgiven.

I know I will be a sucker for the co-sleep thing tonight, too.

But hey, nothing lasts forever. And that goes for those morning kisses, too.