Real life: ‘I’m a surrogate but it’s the mothers who are the strong ones’

Posted in Fertility.

For many couples, pregnancy doesn’t happen easily and for some, infertility struggles can mean that conceiving a baby naturally is out of the question. This is where surrogate mothers and egg donors become not only a blessing, but a necessity.

This surrogate mother’s story is a powerful reminder of what some families must go through to bring a baby into the world.

1 in 5 couples have fertility issues

Mel Holman is an egg donor and has been a surrogate mum (twice!) and she generously shared her story on Constance Hall’s Facebook page, where it really struck a chord with mummas everywhere!

Mel’s heartfelt story begins with a lovely picture of two women posing with an adorable baby bundle:

Mel Holman surrogacy story

She wrote, “A few weeks ago I gave birth to a baby boy. This is me holding him. He was perfect – a screaming newborn mess, lifted off my stomach and put gently into his Mother’s loving arms. Those arms were not mine. She’s next to me in this picture.”

She goes on to share some motherhood truths that are all too real for many women.

“Mothers are often expected to do it all and make it look easy. But it’s not easy. I’ve learned it’s not always simple to become a mother. 1 in 5 couples have some issues with their fertility.”

The moment that changed everything

It was while working as a nurse that Mel realised that while pregnancy had been easy for her, this was not the case for all women. A chance meeting with a woman in tears at her place of work – devastated after yet another round of failed IVF – was the moment that changed everything for her.

“All I wanted to do was fix it for her,” she says.

Mel decided to become an egg donor to help other women who were desperately dreaming of becoming a mother. She reveals that an amazing 18 children have now been born using her donated eggs, and she has also nurtured and delivered two babies as a surrogate for couples who could not carry a baby on their own.

Supporting women through infertility

After her experience as a donor and surrogate, Mel goes on to share some of the things she has learned about the women she has helped.

“While supporting women through infertility, I am constantly amazed at the strength, resilience and determination of these women. Most of all, their endless capacity to love and care for their sisterhood.

“I see the fear, the sadness and yet the hope and excitement etched on their faces as we make plans- often after a long journey of multiple miscarriages and repeated IVF attempts.

“They are fierce and bold and determined to keep trying, even when they are scared and feel let down- over and over.

“In all these women, donors, recipients, those who never conceived… I found the meaning of strength. Resilience. And love.”

Read her full post here:

“You can give the world to someone”

Now, we all know that it takes a very special kind of person to offer up their body as a safe place for another couple’s baby to grow. It is clear that Mel’s selflessness is a thing of beauty and that she is a wonderful and loving woman. But she remains humble about her role in the life of these grateful couples and their babies.

“Maybe you can’t change the world,” she says. “But you can give the world to someone, and change their life.”

With an attitude like that, it’s no wonder she is changing the lives of those around her. What a wonderful human.


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