Parents are sharing the mortifying things preschoolers say, and dear LORD!

Posted in Preschool.

We’re celebrating our brilliant and very funny new podcast 2 Judgy Mums, with mortifying kid moments! 


… And issuing a fist bump in solidarity to the parents of kids with excellent observational skills, really loud voices – and absolutely zero filters!

To mark the launch of 2 Judgy Mums, we headed to Facebook to ask Babyology readers about the embarrassing gems their children have let slip. Luckily for us, they selflessly shared their cringe-worthy moments, in the hopes that it will help other parents feel less alone. And red-faced. #snort

“What’s the most mortifying thing your kid has said or done in public?” we asked (a little too gleefully, we admit!) The floodgates opened and a tale of looting and plundering headed the charge … 

“My daughter was very excitedly yelling ‘look mummy a pirate, it’s a pirate!’ ” one mum recalled. “The poor man looked like he’d survived a terrible stroke and was wearing an eye patch. I quickly scooted everyone around to the next aisle and he followed to ask my daughter if she’d seen his parrot. What a good sport.”

Read more funny parenting articles:

“It was very funny”

For one aunty, a day out with her niece heralded a fanny … no. We meant funny lesson …

“I was shopping with my niece once and she saw a lady with very short shorts on,” she explained. “Unfortunately said lady was quite hairy downstairs. Little niece piped up ‘I can see that lady’s fanny hairs’. It was very funny, yet so very wrong at the same time.”

Riffing off the traditional ‘the dog ate my homework’ blame game, one preschooler had the groundbreaking idea of a ‘reverse smelt it dealt it’ announcement.

“My 3 and a half year old while shopping farted,” her poor mum told us. “It was loud and stunk really bad. She yelled out at the top of her lungs ‘Mummy you stink. That was gross’!! My face went bright red and she was laughing so hard she farted again!!”

Preschool aged girl with face painted

The birds and the bumps

One family got more than they bargained for when they proudly introduced their daughter to dad’s work colleagues.

“Tonight Miss 2 said ‘I still have mummy’s cream in my ‘gina’ … In front of a group of people at her dad’s work. She was talking about the fact that I put Sudocream on her because she was sore,” one of the most mortified in the history of mortification mums wrote.

Mortifying moments weren’t all about farts and fannies though. One mum told us that her little boy had big news to share with his fellow commuters …

“Sitting in a quiet bus going over a few bumps,” she explained, setting the scene nicely. “My darling son, aged two and a half, snickering ‘mummy, my willy is doing something funny’. Guess he had a very enjoyable bus trip.”

In. Blinking. Deed.

We discuss even more mortifying kid moments and other relatable parenting experiences in Episode One of 2 Judgy Mums. 

You can listen to 2 Judgy Mums with Apple Podcasts and Google Podcasts

Listen on Apple Podcasts

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