“I will NOT lose my sh!t” 9 New Year’s resolutions all mums secretly make

Last year, and the one before that, and the one before that (depending on how old your kids are!), was chaotic. Am I right?

It was rushy, stressy and messy.

Well, this year I am vowing to DO BETTER! I will not be the mum who wears her husband’s undies because I can’t find mine in the clean washing basket, for instance. Nope. I am going to nail this mum/work/life juggle. This is MY year. Watch me conquer (or fall flat on my face trying)!

Behold, I present to you a list of New Year’s resolutions for mums. Sure I’m a week late – but who has the time to be planning for a new year when you’re still pulling Christmas wrapping paper out from under the sofa?

Who wants to join me?

1. I will not lose my sh!t

I am going work hard to be one of those calm yogi mums who never raises her voice or throws a tantrum that can match her kids. I am the adult. I will parent by example. I will never yell, I will use my Inside Voice.

But, I will start this one after the school holidays, because HELLO, I can’t do the impossible!

2. I will not indulge in too much Mummy wine time

No, no! I will take the edge off  a scratchy day with the kids with a restorative cup of chamomile tea and burn calming lavender oil instead.

Yep, that will work.

3. I will meal plan

I will not resort to shoving a tray of frozen fish fingers in the oven because a) I haven’t done the shopping, and b) I feel too uninspired to cook because my kids are adorable effing fusspots.

Instead, I will have nutritious family-friendly meals for every night of the week planned, and the pantry and fridge stocked. I will be organised!

4. I will prepare the night before

2020 mornings are going to be smooth-as. I will have prepared for them!

School and preschool bags will be packed the night before. Drink bottles and hats will be found and shoes put away so I am not searching for missing garments under the couch ten minutes after we were due to leave.

5. I will not be an enabler

I will resist the urge to help my kids when they can do something themselves and need to. Like putting on their shoes or wiping their own bottoms. 

This goes for their dad too. Well not the bum thing, but lots of other stuff, like putting away his own clothes – grrr.

6. I will not live in leggings

I will ditch the standard mum-look of leggings and a greasy bun. Well, maybe not ditch them altogether (I still need my comfort), but I WILL wear other clothes too. 

But wait, do my jeans even still fit? It’s been soooo long.

 7. I will plan holidays and make memories

I am going to have an Instagram profile that makes my friends feel jealous.

It will be full of idyllic holiday snaps (because I have planned these, and saved for them, and taken leave at the same time as my partner, and we’ve found affordable accommodation – in the school hols, and there are no bushfires at our destination, etc, etc).

8. I will win the washing war

My dining room table will no longer be weighed down by multiple washing baskets. I will fold and put clothes away as soon as I take them off the line.

I will WIN the washing war.

9. I will cull the toy box

It will not have baby toys that my kids have outgrown, toys that are not played with anymore or odd bits of plastic that belong to a long lost set.

I will also chuck out those annoying Happy Meal Deal toys that only serve to thrill the kids for five minutes and are an environmental hazard. NO MORE HAPPY MEALS.

I will cull, cull, cull. Donate, pass down, recycle what I can. YES, I will do this (when the kids aren’t looking)!

And I will NOT let the toy box get into such a state again.

Oh who am I kidding? These resolutions are like asking a toddler to not fall asleep in the five minute drive home from the shops.

Impossible!

But we can start the year with good intentions, right?!