The crazy confessions of a very tired mum (please don’t judge me!)

Having kids is the best thing that I’ve ever done, but it’s also the most intense. Most days I do a reasonable job of functioning as a responsible adult in the world. Then there’s moments (or days) when my lack of sleep catches up with me, and I do things that make a little bit less sense.

At the risk of oversharing, these are some of the things that happened in the past week.

1. I didn’t shower today (because I’m pretty sure I did yesterday)

By pretty sure – I mean there’s a 50 percent chance – that I showered yesterday. I always wake up in the morning intending to do it but somehow the day somehow gets away from me. Every single day. I have two small children following me around, so that makes planning any solo event more challenging. Even going to the loo is a spectator sport apparently.

2. I put my son’s shoes on the wrong feet twice in one day

I actually didn’t even notice the first time until he tripped over when he started running. I feel like putting the shoes on incorrectly once is an easy mistake. Twice is like it’s getting to be a pattern. Luckily it wasn’t three times. I think that’s the point where you should just cut off the ends of each shoe and remove the whole left/right issue.

3. I only hear about half of most conversations

Unfortunately this isn’t just because the other half of my attention is on my kids. It happens even when they’re not with me. I try so hard to listen carefully, but when I’m tired my attention wanders. Or I unintentionally start making lists of jobs in my head. Last week I was talking to my friend and I threw in a ‘that’s good’ to show I was listening. Turns out I missed the point in the conversation where it changed from a discussion of her new job to one about how she was feeling unwell (to which ‘that sucks’ would have been a better response).

4. I cry every time Lightning McQueen sacrifices his win to help The King

My son is a big fan of Cars, and so we’ve watched it ‘a couple’ of times. The first time, I didn’t feel too bad about my tears. I figured it was good for my son to know it’s okay to cry when people – or in this case, cars – do inspirational things. Except that even now, long after after I first saw it, I still have to distract myself to stop tearing up at that scene. To be honest, even writing about it has me feeling a little weepy. I’m sorry if you haven’t seen Cars and I’ve just spoiled it for you.

5. Sometimes I kick my husband in the middle of the night and pretend it was an accident

My husband is so great with our kids, but he lacks a pretty vital component to service my daughter’s middle-of-the-night needs (ie. breasts). Plus he gets up and goes to work the next day where he has to listen to 100 percent of conversations. Sometimes though, there are those really crappy nights where you’ve been up for so long so many times and you just want someone else to feel your pain a little bit.

6. I have snot on my sleeve and I’m pretty sure it’s not mine

I try to be organised and have tissues around the house. It doesn’t always work out that way, and so I have to improvise. My tired brain doesn’t necessarily think of the best solutions.

7. I told three different people something really important was happening on 20 March, but I just can’t remember what

I have since realised that 20 March is the date I am leaving the house to have dinner with old friends. That’s the kind of information I’m currently keeping in my head. Which, while arguably important, is probably not as relevant to our day-to-day life as dates like vaccinations and Christmas day. That’s still December 25, right?

 

This post was originally published on 5 September 2016.