“I look like an alpaca.” 6 signs you’re now the proud owner of mum-hair

Remember when you had the time of a morning to blowdry and style your hair? You’d heat up the straitening iron while applying a second coat of mascara, just to really achieve that doe-eyed look. Then, after you were happy with your ‘do’, you’d leave the house. Job done.

Fast forward to life as a mum and I bet that hair straightener hasn’t been plugged in for a l-o-n-g time.

You now have mum-hair. Welcome to the club!

Here’s how you know you’re a certified member:

1. You rock a mum-bun

Ah, the mum-bun. This particular hairstyle is your go-to. It’s for those days (which let’s face it, are most days), when you simply don’t have time for doing your hair.

You whip it up into a ponytail and upon realising it’s too greasy to let it flow, you tie it up in a ‘messy bun’. But who are you kidding? It’s a mum-bun and all your friends at mother’s group are also rocking one.

2. You wash your hair when it itches

Showers are a quick in-and-out affair these days, which means your hair only gets washed when you absolutely can’t stand the itch any longer.

Yes, it’s that dirty, but having the time to shampoo and condition is like drinking a cup of tea while it’s still hot. It rarely happens.

3. You sometimes look like an alpaca

If you have naturally curly hair, then as a fellow curly, I fist-bump you and also send my condolences. Curly hair is so much more work than straight! And sometimes, it’s simply unmanageable.

On humid days, or just like first thing in the morning, we can look like alpacas.

Or alpacas with mum-buns, when we finally leave the house.

4. You braid your mane

Then there are those days where even a mum-bun can’t hide the shame of your unruly, or greasy hair.

On these days, only plaits will do. But you can’t help but feel like one of the preschool girls when doing the childcare drop-off.

5. You’re rocking a ‘mombre’  hair colour

Because you have a bad regrowth issue, and no time to go to the hairdresser, you have accidentally stumbled onto a hair colour trend.

Yep, you are a fashionista, Mama! Who knew?!

That two-tone hair of yours may be known as ‘ombre’ to hairdressers – and is a look that people pay good money for at a salon – but really it’s ‘mombre’ all the way.

So, winning!

6. At some point you had a ‘mumlet’

You know when your hair drops out after having a baby and then sometime later your hairline sprouts wispy bits? Well, we are dubbing this style, the ‘mumlet’ – short at the front and longer at the back – it’s basically a mullet for mums.

And at some point, we’ve all had one.

But keep calm. It will grow out.

See? You are a member of the mum-hair club. We stand together in greasy, frizzy, flat, unwashed solidarity.