Suck it up! Dad reveals accidental love bite from his newborn “vampire” baby

Ronnie Dunston is dad to newborn named Nubia and he’s popped up on Facebook to have a bit of a whinge issue a warning about “dangerous” babies. 

“Suck it up, chump!”

It’s a pretty funny situation and one that will strike a chord with anyone who’s ever held a hungry baby.  

Let’s just say that this dad had never really taken his wife seriously when she’s quietly responded to their daughter’s supercharged sucking powers. We’ll let Ronnie explain …

“So every time my daughter latches on to my wife’s nipple she makes this ‘Ah sh!t, this hurts’ face. I’m like ‘seriously you’re not used to it by now, she doesn’t even have teeth, suck it up, chump!’ ”

Ronnie’s wife’s ‘ouch-y face’ seemed like theatrics to this dad, until he was on the wrong side of his baby’s gums one day when his wife was not around.

“So yesterday my daughter was losing her damn mind looking for the boobie milk, ” he writes on Facebook.

“My wife was at the gym, so I carried her downstairs to make a bottle.” So far, so good.

“While we’re waiting for the bottle to warm up, I’m shirtless and Nubia is laying on my shoulder she starts moving her head all crazy then just starts to suck on my clavicle,” Ronnie explains. “I laugh and go you’re not going to get anything from there, buddy.”

“Dracula type sh!t”

That may well be the case but Ronnie’s laugh was a little premature. Nubia had her heart set on one thing.

“Her suction turned into some blood-sucking Dracula type sh!t. I’m like WTF?!” Ronnie recalls. “She had some newborn vampire, type strength!”

Poor battle-weary dad Ronnie did what everyone would do in this situation – he made his baby a bottle and then examined himself in the mirror.

“I go in the bathroom and look at my neck and this was the result,” he wrote alongside a photo of a rather small love bite thanks to baby Dracula Nubia. 

“Say it louder”

Mums on Facebook loved this post and were familiar with this sort of robust baby behaviour.

“This viral moment brought to you by hungry babies everywhere, lol!” one woman commented under Ronnie’s post.

“Say it louder for the daddies in the back!! We have magical super powers and a threshold for pain that most men can’t fathom!!” another mum quipped.

“I see she made you a believer! Breastfeeding is nooo joke! Been there!” someone else declared.

Lesson learned

You might say that the littlest member of his household taught her daddy a big lesson.

“I will never talk sh!t to my wife ever again, these babies are DANGEROUS,” an emotional Ronnie posted noting that mums have to endure an assortment of  painful experiences as part of the job.

“Guys I want you to never, ever, ever, ever, EVER underestimate the power of a mother. From birthing a child to breastfeeding you Sir are NOT built for this type pain.”