Just when you thought the Kardashian spin cycle was a finely-tuned machine, Kim shares a pretty dorky family photo that proves not only are they human, but that their children do not care a jot for those “branding” strategies.
“I cried too”
It seems this valiant attempt at capturing the West bunch as a family of five was an emotionally charged experience.
“I don’t think you really understand how hard it is to take a good family pic,” a deflated Kim explained on Instagram. “This was all we got before all three kids started crying. I think I cried too.”
Honestly, we can’t blame her. Taking a photo where everyone is a) looking at the camera b) still wearing their clothing and c) not doing those antenna-fingers behind each others’ heads is near impossible.
It’s kind of nice to see that it’s not JUST US having issues getting a perfect portrait!
The many moods of family photos
Let’s examine the five moods of the West family photo a little more closely. Perhaps you’ll see yourself in some of these game faces?!
1. Err. I’d rather not
As modelled by two-year-old Saint, this look is motivated by something heaps better just out of frame. Saint’s generously Fabulon-ed shirt is making actually moving out of frame impossible, because his arms are completely starched in place. Luckily he can still turn his head. Small mercies.
2. I’m tapping out
As modelled by two-month-old Chicago: Chicago is working off her sleep debt and would prefer not to be standing on the lawn in the blazing sun in front of this upsetting wall of nettles (or whatever they are). She’s opted out of the whole catastrophe. Also – note the tension in Kim’s claw hand.
3. No, YOU’RE crying
As modelled by Kim, who has been trying to keep her eyes unblinking and her mouth slightly ajar for so long that she’s sobbing, internally at least. (See “Kim’s claw hand”, above).
4. Are we saying “cheese” or “sushi”?
As modelled by four-year-old North. This is not North’s first rodeo and she’s thrown caution to the wind and busted out some more unconventional poses. Or this could be a covert cry for help. Not sure.
5. I woke up like this
As seen on Kanye, accompanied by an expertly furrowed brow and the matchy-matchy father-son shirt thing. Kanye’s thinking about the nettles too and he’s not really here for them. He’s doing his “no” face, creating a photographic record in protest. Perhaps Fabulon is involved too … not really sure.
We’re certain that further instalments of the West family photo quest are imminent, and await them with bated breath. (“Sushi!”)
Read more on the Kardashians:
- Khloe Kardashian shares her Sunday pregnancy meal-prep secrets
- Kim Kardashian West shares her kids’ cute nicknames
- Khloe Kardashian’s lavish PINK baby shower