Singer Carrie Underwood and husband Mike Fisher announced in August that they were expecting a baby. The pair are already parents to three-year-old Isaiah, and the expectant mum revealed they’ve had a really rough trot trying to grow their family over the last few years.
Content note: This post discusses miscarriage
Entering last year feeling super-optimistic, Carrie said things pretty much went from bad to worse and took a terrible toll.
“2017 just wasn’t how I imagined it,” Carrie told CBS. “I’d kind of planned that 2017 was, you know, going to be the year that I work on new music, and I have a baby. We got pregnant early 2017, and didn’t work out.”
Not only did that pregnancy not “work out”, but she suffered two further miscarriages – one in 2017 and one earlier this year.
“In the beginning it was like, ‘Okay, God, we know this is, just wasn’t Your timing. And that is all right. We will bounce back and figure our way through it.’ And got pregnant again in the spring, and it didn’t work out. Got pregnant again, early 2018. Didn’t work out.”
Read more about miscarriage:
- Should women be entitled to miscarriage bereavement leave?
- “There is no rulebook for grief”: Carrie Bickmore on her two miscarriages
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Counting her blessings
“I had always been afraid to be angry. Because we are so blessed … My son, Isaiah, is the sweetest thing. And he’s the best thing in the world. If we can never have any other kids, that’s okay, because he’s amazing … What can I complain about? I have an incredible husband, incredible friends, an incredible job, an incredible kid. Can I be mad? No.”
“Why on earth do I keep getting pregnant?”
Earlier this year, however, a newly pregnant and traumatised Carrie thought she was miscarrying again. She DID vent her frustration, questioning what she’d done to deserve so much sadness and praying that this pregnancy would give her a healthy baby.
“Mike was away just for the evening, and I texted him, and I was like, ‘I don’t really want to be alone, so I’m just gonna go snuggle with Isaiah.’ And I don’t know how I didn’t wake him up, but I was just sobbing.”
“I was like, ‘Why on earth do I keep getting pregnant if I can’t have a kid? Like, what is this? Shut the door. Like, do something. Either shut the door or let me have a kid.’ For the first time … I actually told God how I felt. And I feel we’re supposed to do that,” she recalls.
“That was like a Saturday – and the Monday I went to the doctor to confirm another miscarriage. And they told me everything was great!”
Carrie believes her prayers were answered and God listened to her pleas.
“Not that He hasn’t in the past. But maybe, I don’t know, He heard me,” she told CBS.