A bride-to-be headed to popular forum Reddit to get some feedback on what she thought was a sticky situation, and people were very keen to weigh in on her ‘dilemma’.
“Am I allowed to be pi**ed or am I just selfish?”
In the now deleted post, the woman worried that a bridal party pregnancy would interfere with her pre-wedding celebrations.
“I just found out that one of my bridesmaids will be 5 to 6 months pregnant on my wedding day,” she explained.
“This bridesmaid was also planning my super secret bachelorette party that I know no details of … but I’m assuming involved drinking that will probably either be changed or cancelled,” she continued. ”
“Maybe I’m just thinking the worst here, but personally I think it’s wrong to get pregnant when you’re part of the bridal party and not tell the bride.”
She titled the post – “Am I allowed to be pi**ed or am I just selfish?” and asked for feedback.
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“You are being selfish”
Feedback flowed thick and fast with Redditors responding to her query with their usual candour – and pretty unkindly a LOT of the time.
“It’s not wrong to get pregnant if you’re going to be in a bridal party. You can’t ask someone to put their life on hold for your wedding. You are being selfish,” one person commented. “As for your bachelorette party, that just means she won’t be able to drink. I’m sure you can still have the party you want.”
Some readers suggested that there were good reasons behind this friend keeping her pregnancy hush-hush and that it made perfect sense.
“Many people wait until the first trimester is over to tell people, because if they lose the baby, it’s devastating to have to tell excited people over and over again that your baby died,” one wrote. “So no, your bridesmaid was not obligated to tell you anything.”
“Just one night”
One commenter suggested that this woman may have pre-empted this very reaction – and been reluctant to deal with the bride’s negativity.
“Is it possible that she didn’t tell you because she knew your reflex reaction would NOT be ‘Congratulations! Let’s get you a bridesmaid’s dress that is comfortable!’ but instead – ‘This is going to mess up my bachelorette party’?” they queried.
While it’s understandable that the bride is feeling anxious that her wedding celebrations go smoothly, most commenters were keen to point out that her priorities might be a little … off.
“Your bachelorette party is just one night. Your friend’s pregnancy is the creation of another human that will last a lifetime,” one wrote.
“A good opportunity for growth”
Some people noted that this was a brilliant opportunity to shift gears and respond supportively.
“Well done to [the original poster] for asking whether she’s being selfish,” a Reddit user posted. “This is a good opportunity for growth. On top of that, the chances are good that the pregnant bridesmaid might be willing to be the designated driver for the bachelorette party.”
“It’s good that you are entertaining the idea that this reaction is selfish. It means that there’s hope you won’t bridezilla all over the place,” another commented wrote. “I think you should send her some congratulation flowers with a note about how excited you are for her.”
It can’t have been easy for this bride-to-be to hear all this from a bunch of strangers – and the fact that she deleted her post confirms this – but here’s hoping that she thought twice about her initial panicked response … and that bride and bridesmaid talked things through and got excited about BOTH their big life-changing events.
We fully support pregnant and non-pregnant bridesmaids here at Babyology, for the record!