A mum has asked the good folk of Mumsnet what they’d do in her position after her hubby changed his mind about their chosen baby name after their little girl arrived.
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“She had a name!”
“Am I being unreasonable to be upset that he changed the baby’s name?” she asked.
“We had chosen a name. She had a name! Now that she’s here, he is refusing to call her the name we had picked, Sophia,” she continued, but “he is saying she looks like an Audrey or an Arden.”
Her hubby said that Sophia is being used by too many other parents. He wanted to rethink the whole thing.
“He keeps babbling on about how popular it is and how it doesn’t feel like her name and that he knows too many little Sophias and Sophies.
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“She’s two weeks old”
The mum in question loves the name Sophia and wanted to settle on a name quick-smart.
“She’s two weeks old and she doesn’t have a name,” she wrote. “I wanted Sophia Alice or Sophia Skye. He wants Audrey Delilah or Arden Katherine.”
“He likes Arianna. Hasn’t said much else other than it’s nice and pretty. Reminds him of Ariana Grande a bit so he prefers Arianna spelling,” she continued.
“Am I being unreasonable to say that we chose Sophia so she’s Sophia now?”
So what did people think of this poor mum’s dilemma? Lots of people loved the name they’d chosen ahead of the birth.
“Sophia is a lovely name and who gives a shit about what any other child is called, unless you’re expecting all of them to live with you?!” one commenter wrote. “I really don’t get the preciousness about popular names. He doesn’t get to unilaterally change your daughter’s name. I would say if he doesn’t want Sophia, and you don’t want Audrey or Arden (and who could blame you) then you need to go back to the drawing board. But I’m firmly in your corner, he’s being ridiculous.”
Another had very firm views about what should have happened here:
“You gave birth, you have the final say. END OF,” they wrote.
Compromise is key
Others said that it’s okay to change your mind and this dad’s wishes need to be respected.
“I don’t think he’s being ridiculous. He’s gone off the name for your daughter, which is fair enough.”
“I do think you both have to agree on another name,” someone else commented. “It’s really not relevant how many posters like Sophia, the baby’s father does not want to call their baby that.”
“You do need to agree on a name you are both happy with, or both willing to compromise to.
It does not mean that he should get his own way either.”
Later on, the new dad deposited a written list of names he liked into the mum’s lap. Not going to lie, they are lovely!
“He has picked Juliet Isabelle, Gabriella Darcy, Arianna Alice, Arianna Marigold and Zara Katherine,” she told Mumsnet.
The name blame game
Sadly the new mum didn’t return to Mumsnet to reveal the final choice but we are glad that she highlighted a very common problem with her post.
Some parents – like these ones – take their own sweet time settling on a name they both like which is actually FINE because on average the various state and territory Births, Deaths and Marriages registries allow up to 60 days to decide on a baby’s name.
This 60 days is a brilliant idea and much better than choosing a name that one or both parents later regret – as happens more often than you’d think.
Compromise … or else!
So what should you do if you can’t agree on a baby name? Well, you really do have to take each other’s wishes into consideration and reach a compromise. If you can’t, then the state might do it for you, as stated by the Victorian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages:
“Where the parents can’t agree on the child’s name, legislation enables the Victorian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages to decide the child’s name.”