Mum’s tricky dilemma: “Mother-in-law cutting my kids’ hair without permission”

Posted in Relationships.

A mum has taken to the parenting forum on Reddit to explain a really frustrating stand-off she’s having with her mother-in-law – and we honestly think she’s been way more patient than we’d be.

Repeat offender

Explaining that her MIL likes to “cross the line” she reveals her hubby’s mum is a bit of a repeat offender when it comes to homegrown haircuts and other pesky behaviours. She says they’ve asked her not to cut their children’s hair before.

Do you think she listened? Nope.

“Last week my daughter (who has very long hair and bangs we’ve been trying to grow out) came home with a few inches off the bottom and her bangs cut. My husband told her once again, please don’t cut their hair.”

Do you think she listened? Nope.

“Then my son comes home yesterday with his hair SHAVED off.”

This mum is at the end of her tether now and wonders if she’s overreacting.

“I completely lost it,” she admits. “Am I in the wrong?”

“She is the one that watches them so we can work,” she continued, explaining how circumstances are playing into this behaviour.

“She has no right”

The good folk of Reddit had mixed responses. For many, this MIL behaviour was definitely out of order.

“My ex’s parents do this as well. I just requested it not be too short because there really is no stopping them,” one mum wrote.

“That’s infuriating,” someone else declared. “She has no right to cut their hair, especially because she has already been told not to.”

“Welcome to the most common narcissist power move a MIL can make – check out /r/JustNoMIL for support,” another supporter commented, pointing the woman over to another forum that discusses rogue mother in laws on Reddit.

Haircut mil

It’s your fault!

But other people thought this dilemma was easily solved, perhaps wilfully ignoring this family’s childcare arrangement and also the ever-present familial pressure that makes cutting ties so fraught.

“You did this by giving your kids to a woman who likes violating boundaries,” someone wrote.

“Stop talking and start acting,” someone else commented. “You guys are kind of like people who keep touching a hot stove and getting really surprised and angry that you keep getting burned. At some point, you just have to stop touching the hot stove, right? So stop leaving your kids with her. Problem solved forever.”

“Pretty simple solution. She believes she has autonomy over the children’s bodies, she loses access to the kids.”

An eye for an eye?

Some commenters tried to lighten things up with their naughty mother-in-law hacking advice.

“Cut her hair while she sleeps,” one jokester suggested.

“I’d be sorely tempted to put Nair in her shampoo,” someone else wrote.


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