“Isn’t there some other way to have a baby?”: Little kids chat ‘intercoursing’

Posted in Preschool.

Snort! In a much-loved and gosh-darned hilarious tweet, elementary school kids’ questions about sex were shared and it’s truly the gift you didn’t know you needed.

Welcome to Virginia!

“My friend is teaching elementary schoolers about sex ed,” Twitter user Yana posted, “and she typed their questions out andddd …”

She posted two photos of the kiddos’ ponderings on Twitter, because she knows our lives are hard and we need all the giggles we can get. Concerns and queries from the curious bunch included:

“Are you sure that somebody knows how to get that baby out of there?”
– As many mums can attest, not always.

“I’m sure my mother never had nothing to do with intercoursing … maybe my father?”
– It seems unfathomable to us, at times, too.

“If you intercourse longer, is the baby bigger?”
– Because effort should equal reward, right?

“When the PENISE is put into the VIRGINIA, does it slide in quietly or click like a key in a lock?”
– Mumbles something about a combination lock.

“Wouldn’t it be just as good if a boy had a baby for a change?”
– * wild cheering ensues *

“Why do you have sex?”
– This question was accompanied by a neatly typed withering stare and we’re feeling judged right about now.

“I know that intercousing takes 24 hours. My question is how do you stay awake?”
– This kid knows things. About intercoursing.

“Isn’t there some other way to have a baby?”
– This one was disgust-tinged and sort of pleading. 

Absolutely deceased

Twitter users really identified with many of these questions …

“Isn’t there some other way to have a baby is a big mood, like I FELT that,” one mum mused.

“I felt the one about how it would be nice if the boy had the baby sometime,” came another mum’s reply.

“Never happening,” a bloody rude man told them both. 

“’Maybe my father’ has me absolutely deceased,” someone else wrote and it’s a fair response.

Look, nothing beats a bit of innocent and funny Where Did I Come From chatter – and these kids wondering (shuddering at?) how the heck grown-ups worked out the whole ‘sex-equals-babies’ thing is proof of that.

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