“You have ruined my whole life,” my preschooler told me sadly outside the Bunnings cake stall.
Why? Because I wouldn’t buy him a cupcake. This was after he’d just had his face painted, eaten a sausage sandwich for lunch, oh and was still sucking the lollipop we also bought him as a special treat.
Here are 27 other reasons my little guy might declare on any single day, “This is the worst day EVER!”
1. He dropped his banana in the dirt. I rinsed it with his water bottle, but then it was a wet banana.
2. The wheel on his Coles kiddie shopping trolley had a mind of its own.
3. A lady in the lift had already pushed the button.
4. I rubbed some of his face paint off when wiping his nose. So it was ‘ruined’.
5. The ice blocks were not put in the freezer.
6. I served him regular chicken nuggets for dinner – instead of the ALDI dinosaur-shaped ones.
7. His brother’s toes were on ‘his’ side of the couch.
8. I made him porridge for breakfast.
9. I accidentally stepped on his train track when walking to the loo.
10. Ants ate the dead cicada he found.
11. His watermelon slice had pips.
12. His dad laughed at him when he got angry over the watermelon.
13. His remote control car ran out of batteries.
14. We went to the beach pool for a swim. Instead of the indoor pool that costs money.
15. He got sand in his goggles.
16. I washed his goggles, but when I did, he got water in his eyes.
17. I took him for a bus ride, but teenagers had already claimed the back seat when we got on.
18. I wrote his name a TEENY bit over the picture on his Bluey drink bottle.
19. The tail on his playdough dinosaur kept falling off.
20. The internet died mid-streaming Peppa Pig.
21. I gave him a yoghurt pop for dessert.
22. He got a bindie in his toe. Because he wasn’t wearing the sandals I asked him to put on.
23. His Paw Patrol tee was in the wash. So he had to wear his Spiderman shirt to kindy instead.
24. I gave him the red cup.
25. I made him wash his hands before dinner.
26. He had to sit still for five minutes while I clipped his nails.
27. He went to party, had a world of fun and got a lolly bag to take home. But then he dropped a jelly bean in the car on the way home.
It sure has been a tough day, young guy. A tough, tough day!