Parents share the little white lies they hope their toddlers never find out

Let’s face it, us parents are all just a big pack of liars. But in our defence, our ‘little white lies’ usually come from a good place – that place being the willingness to try anything to avoid a toddler tantrum. Or a sugar high. Or (let’s be honest), to avoid sharing that much-anticipated block of choccie they caught us trying to sneak behind the pantry door!

Turns out, these little white lies we tell our kids are most definitely a thing. When we recently shared this funny meme on the Babyology Facebook page, parents came in their droves to add to the list.

Below are some of our fave responses, and frankly, some of these are pure genius and worth adding to your arsenal immediately!

Foodie fibs

Starting with the super-popular “chocolate is spicy” and “vitamins are lollies” (both fibs that about a zillion parents ‘fessed up to, I might add), here’s hoping our kids don’t find out about these other pearlers …

“I used to tell my son the lollies and chocolates at the register were ‘display items.’” – Rebecca

“Chocolate is made from mushrooms.” – Bri

“That ‘Mint Slice’ isn’t actually dog food that I keep in the fridge.” – Sarah

“It is not against the law to go to bed without brushing your teeth.” – Cheriann

“The fridge beeps cause you made it angry and when the fridge gets angry it eats all the treats.” – Deanne

“When the ice cream van rings its bell it’s actually out of ice cream.” – Marya

“Ice cream and candy is made out of spinach and broccoli.” – Razia

“That pork/beef/lamb/fish is not actually chicken.” – Allyce

McDonald’s myths

With the golden arches and fast food outlets everywhere these days, it seems parents have levelled-up their ingenious excuses to stay away …

“The lights are on at McDonald’s because they’re cleaning!” – Simone

“Some McDonald’s don’t sell thickshakes.” – Tay

“Dunkin’ Donuts only serves donuts at breakfast time.” – Sara

And these mums are seriously hoping their kids don’t find out:

“That McDonald’s isn’t just open on Wednesdays!” – Michelle

“That McDonald’s doesn’t just serve coffee some days.” – Alyssa

Liar, liar, pants on fire

Got a little fibber on your hands? Try fighting fibs with fibs, like these parents. What could possibly go wrong?

“My mum told me that with every lie I told, a pimple would grow on my tongue.” – Russ

“That when you lie your forehead has true or false written on it.” – Ruta

“That when you lie, your ears turn red.” – Tammy

“If you lie, your tongue turns blue but only your mum can see it.” – Ashley

Secret Santa

Santa has long been the subject of parental perjury, as this previous post all about it can attest. Here are some fresh doozies to add to the list!

“That it’s a smoke alarm on the ceiling not a Santa camera.” – Kim

“That every time I tap my fit bit, it’s me telling Santa they have been naughty… My calorie count was the number of times I’ve told him.” – Susan

“That the toy shop is Santa’s showroom and you only get to look at the toys. You don’t get to take them home.” – Jodie

Fake news!

Turns out, you basically can’t believe a word we say. Want proof? Read on for more of the fabulous fabrications parents shared with us …

“The internet doesn’t work at night.” – Bernadette

“My car doesn’t start unless you are fastened in your car seat/seat belt.” – Amy

“I tell them they have to bathe or the boogie monster will smell them.” – Simone

“Paw patrol isn’t actually broken on the tv and daddy is the only one who knows how to fix it.” – Amanda

“That when the lights are flashing on the rides in the mall it means they are broken.” – Kym

“The play centre is ‘getting fixed.’” – Melissa

“That the ‘sign says’ little girls not allowed, or no climbing, running, touching etc… whatever I need the sign to say!” – Cathy

“My glasses have a special power that allows me to see through the sofa and know when you’re doing something you shouldn’t.” – Alice

“Putting 7 mins on a microwave and saying ‘oh look it’s bedtime already’ when you have had enough for the day at 6pm.” – Rebecca

“The monster who lives in the storage room isn’t real, we just don’t want you to go into the storage room!” – Stephanie

“That the lifeguard says the beach is full today so we’ll ring him again next weekend.” – Susan

“Youtube doesn’t stop working if you watch it for more than x amount of time.” – Donna

“The dog WILL NOT tell your Mum if you’re naughty.” – Michelle

“That 10 more minutes is in fact only 1 more minute.” – Emma

“I actually do know why – I just can’t be bothered explaining.” – Sara

See? We told you. GENIUS!