I’ve already had four babies but I’m pining for a fifth – am I crazy?

Posted in Family.

Call me crazy, but I find newborns completely intoxicating and would just keep popping them out if I could. And I’ve already got four of them.

That does make me crazy, right?

By a lot of people’s standards – and definitely according to my husband – having four is A LOT of children. For us, it’s the absolute most we can realistically handle. Our house is filled to the brim and our sanity is stretched beyond reasonable limits every single day. It would be completely understandable for me to say I’m done having babies, the broody days are over, but the other day in the playground this woman was holding a brand new baby and I just swooned, realising I’m not done with babies and damn these ovaries, I probably never will be.

I stared at the gorgeous baby girl in her mother’s arms, still curly from the womb and making those delicious little newborn grunty noises and I couldn’t help myself. I went into deep fantasy about my next baby, trying to shape it in my mind to make it a perfectly logical and reasonable idea to present to my husband, knowing that there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d agree, and deep, deep down, knowing he was right.

Reasons why I shouldn’t have another baby:

Four is enough

We are already stretched to our limits. We’ve somehow made our family of six fit in our townhouse and we manage to keep everyone clothed, washed and fed, but I constantly feel like I should be doing more for them. Adding another baby to the mix would make this even harder.

Children cost money

Of course it’s money well spent, but as children grow, they seem to become more expensive. Once you get past the childcare years, which are costly enough, you have school fees, uniforms and extra-curricular activities to factor in.

Babies grow up

Now that my kids are all past the baby stage, I can safely say that raising babies is much easier than parenting children. As they get older, children become less cute and cuddly and more demanding of you. Sure they still like a cuddle, but they also talk back, argue and need help with their homework. Cuddling newborns is the best, but parenting gets harder, not easier, as babies grow bigger.

My existing children need me

Spreading my attention between the kids I have is hard enough, so adding a baby to the mix would make this even tougher. Getting to know my older children has shown me that they need love attention and quality time to help them develop as a person, and giving a new baby my attention would take me away from my other kids somewhat.

We’ve been lucky so far …

We’ve been lucky with our lot so far, and it would feel like tempting fate to go for another baby, especially when I am (ahem) of ‘advanced maternal age’, which comes with added health risks for both me and the baby.

See? All very good reasons to be happy with the family I have and stop pining away for a newborn.

But did I tell you about the newborn I saw at the playground?? The one with a cute frilly top and little nappy pants, snuggling into her mother’s chest?

What makes another baby such an enticing idea …

Growing babies

I loved being pregnant. I loved peeing on the stick and discovering I was with child and I loved feeling my baby grow, counting kicks and watching him move inside my belly as we approached delivery day. I even loved going into labour, because it meant we’d finally be meeting our baby.

Newborn magic

Newborns have this ethereal quality, that makes them magical, delicate and other-worldly. From the way they lock eyes with you after birth, staring into your soul like they’ve known you forever, to the way they curl up on your chest, still in the womb position. Plus there’s all the cuteness, from their button tip nose all the way down to their impossibly tiny feet that you just want to smother with kisses.

Baby clothes

There’s nothing cuter than baby clothes. End of.

Family love

Babies bring love into the world with them. And while I might feel overstretched as a mum with the kids I have, I’ll always be able to find more love for another baby. And even better, because my kids are older, they’d be able to help take care of a newborn, and really enjoy the adventure of bringing another baby into the mix, watching it grow in my tummy all the way to welcoming it home.

It doesn’t have to make sense

Having another baby doesn’t always have to be about logic and reason. As long as it’s fed, loved and given a safe, warm home, having a baby is one of life’s simple and true joys. Sometimes there’s no good reason to have another baby, other than for the sheer love of it. I reckon there’s women all over the world that would agree with me on that one.

How about you? Are you secretly pining away for another baby?


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