Mum-shaming, eh? Without a doubt it’s one of our most read-about and riled-against topics and the push-back against mum-shaming has not gone unnoticed.
“If I had a nickel”
Sia Cooper who blogs at Diary of a Fit Mommy is taking the mum shamers to task. Not only is she over the judgement, she’s pointing out that it doesn’t matter which way your parenting choices swing, someone will be waiting in the wings to shout you down.
“If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been called a “bad mom,” I would be soooo rich!” Sia wrote on her Instagram account, alongside an exaggerated and satirical of her in full bad mum flight with her kids.
“It seems almost impossible to be a textbook or politically correct good mom these days because everywhere you turn another mom is judging your parenting choices.”
Read more about mummy shaming:
- Claire Foy says parenting would be MUCH easier without mummy shamers
- Smooch shamed! Olivia Wilde kissed her son on the lips and people got angry
- Kim Kardashian mum-shamed after son Saint is hospitalised with pneumonia
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been called a “bad mom,” I would be soooo rich! It seems almost impossible to be a textbook or politically correct good mom these days because everywhere you turn another mom is judging your parenting choices. Am I right? I’ve been called a bad mom for: Workout out during pregnancy. Working out while having kids… period. For caring about my looks and health. Working out in Target. Using canned goods and plastic crockpot liners. Having tattoos and piercings. Enjoying wine every now and then. For letting my kids use technology. For letting my kids have sugar and happy meals occasionally. For not “covering up” around my kids. For running a full time business from home. For co-sleeping with my kids. For collecting sports cars and motorcycles aka having a hobby. For taking time for myself. For having abs. I’ve learned that the true “bad moms” out there are the ones who constantly tear other moms down by judging them. Those moms are the ones who are truly insecure and have strong feelings of inadequacy because why else would they do that? Misery loves company. There’s no one right way to parent or to be a mom. We all are running in the same race and doing the best that we can. Motherhood is not a one size fits all-what works for one family may not work for the next. So who are we to judge another mom’s choices or reasoning? Being a mom is hard enough and if all the following make me a “bad mom” then I’ll gladly wear it proudly! Here’s to all the bad moms out there. Follow @badmomconfessions to submit a confession or read other anonymous mothers’ spills! @todayshow @goodmorningamerica @theviewabc @thetalkcbs @theellenshow
Shame on you
Sia goes on to explain some of the things perfect strangers have called her out on, via social media. They include, but are not limited to: working out when pregnant, using tinned foods, caring about her looks, sometimes drinking wine, having tattoos, allowing her kids to eat treats, having boobs, co-sleeping, running a business … we could go on, but you get the picture.
(Somewhere in there is probably “breathing” and “pooping” because honestly there’s no pleasing some people!)
Sia reckons it’s a pretty terrible move to judge another mum, and asserts that the shamers are the true baddies in this whole catastrophe.
“I’ve learned that the true “bad moms” out there are the ones who constantly tear other moms down by judging them. Those moms are the ones who are truly insecure and have strong feelings of inadequacy because why else would they do that?”
Why indeed? We think she’s on to something.
Can I just take a minute to say WOW! 😱The “bad mom” post that I made last week went VIRAL and stirred up so many conversations around mom-shaming and judgement against moms altogether. I couldn’t be more thankful for the awesome comments, messages, and likes that it had received. Therefore, this is “part 2” of that post where I wanna expand a bit. In my last post, I mentioned several ways that I’ve been judged against as a mom and mainly it’s because I find the time to workout. I’ve been called selfish a thousand times because I choose to make fitness a priority as a mom. I’ve been told that my kids are probably neglected and that I put them off on a nanny. The hateful comments normally come from other moms who can’t or won’t put forth the same effort for whatever reason. I’ve also been judged for working out during pregnancy and received hateful messages saying my baby was going to die and get shaken up in the womb. I’ve been told my baby would have brain damage. I had gone viral during pregnancy for maintaining my 6 pack so some people commented that my abs were going to choke my baby. Yes I’m dead serious guys. And of course there’s the Target workout judgement where I filmed a fun and playful workout video while shopping at Target that went viral last year and people called me a lunatic and crazy. My point is? You can’t please everyone and y’all… other moms are the WORST! You’d think that moms would support one another instead of tearing each other apart. It seems like you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. If another mom or a person in general wants to call ME a “bad mom” -vain, selfish, whatever- for putting my health first and for “having abs” then so be it! I encourage you all to take what you’ve been called a bad mom for and wear it proud. Own it! To the haters, you can kiss my abs 😘 Being a mom isn’t easy and there is no wrong way to parent IF your kids are loved, healthy, and being taken care of. 💁🏽♀️ Am I right? Follow @badmomconfessions to share your bad mom moments to be shared anonymously and to read other mom’s confessions! #worldsokayestmom @todayshow @goodmorningamerica @theviewabc @thetalkcbs @theellenshow @scarymommy
“Doing the best we can”
In a MUCH more perfect world, Sia says a little compassion, acceptance and support would go a very long way.
“There’s no one right way to parent or to be a mom. We all are running in the same race and doing the best that we can. Motherhood is not a one size fits all-what works for one family may not work for the next. So who are we to judge another mom’s choices or reasoning?”
“Being a mom is hard enough and if all the following make me a ‘bad mom’ then I’ll gladly wear it proudly! Here’s to all the bad moms out there!”
Hey guys, thanks for all the love on the last two “bad mom” posts! This is the third and final one. Let’s talk about stay at home moms. I’ve been told that I did nothing when I was a stay at home mom and that SAHMs were “lazy” and “useless.” The people who made these comments were either non-moms or moms who worked outside the home. Now let’s talk about working mothers and how they’ve been called bad moms for choosing to make a living outside the home to provide for their families. It seems like no mother can win here! What gives?? You’re damned if you choose to stay home and raise your kids and you’re damned if you make a career for yourself. I’ve had so many comments stating that I sit around all day and do nothing. Let me begin that I am a work at home mom and I run a full time $500,000 a year business from home that’s allow my husband to retire early from his career. Yes, while I do stay home, I work my ass off. I’m a personal trainer and social media is a REAL job to be. How I choose to provide income for my family is none of your business to call me a bad mom. If you choose to work 40+ hours outside the home, you go girl! If you choose to forgo a career to raise your children full time-hell yes! More power to both types of mamas because BOTH work so hard in different ways yet they both are constantly judged. WHY?? Why is there this stupid idea of what a mom should be, should do, and should look like. This is how society is so screwed up. So to the mamas who are providing for their families either by offering their services or by bringing home funds, I salute you. You are a major contributor in your household and your kids will love you for it. I think SAHMs are just as valuable as the career moms and vice versa. Do not let anyone make you feel guilty for doing what you feel is best for you and your family. Keep on being a “bad mom” and thanks for following this little series! Don’t forget to follow @badmomconfessions and share your anonymous bad mom moment! 💜
It’s a thing
Mummy shaming is something that almost every parent-with-a-profile has fallen prey to, usually when they’re just merrily going about their day and want to share the happy feels about their kid/s.
Chrissy Teigen was shamed for … the way she stacked her trolley when shopping with Luna, the way she fastened Luna’s car seat, the way she played with her toddler daughter and even the way she conceived her kids. Hilary Duff was shamed for … kissing her son. Not even kidding. Pink was shamed for … cooking with her kids.
And that’s just for starters! Here’s hoping Sia’s push for a global movement against shaming mums gains momentum, and this madness gets taken down a notch or two.