If you could write your newborn a letter, what would it say? What promises would you make? What advice would you give? What secrets would you share?
This is my letter, to my baby boy, but it’s not just for him. It’s a letter for all mums out there – to share with their own children. Because sometimes you can’t find the words to express just how amazing being a mum really is.
To my precious baby
Finding the words to express how I feel about you is not easy, especially when sleep-deprived from our late night feeds together, sore from giving birth to you and shocked from the overwhelming emotion of getting to know you these past few days.
But let me try.
Let me try to tell you just how perfect you are, how I could spend every second smelling your baby scent, touching your tiny feet and stroking your fragile face. Let me tell you how every time I look at you, my heart aches with happiness, how the little things in life that mattered last week don’t mean a thing to me anymore.
Suddenly you are everything
You may only be a few days old, but you already have my heart. Even before I was carrying you, I knew I was destined to be a mum and now that you are here, it just feels right.
You may only weigh a few kilograms, but you are the strongest part of me. Having you in my arms makes me feel like I can move mountains if I need to, if that’s what I have to do to keep you safe.
So, to you, my darling, I thank you. And to you, my son, I make these promises:
I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I promise to always try my best. I promise to always put you first – forgive me when I fail! I promise to do my best to keep you safe. I promise to always make you smile. And when there are tears instead, I promise to be the one to wipe them away.
I will be the one to cuddle you when you feel scared, to hold your hand when you feel sick, to read just one more book to you when you can’t fall asleep. I will watch you take your first steps, hear you speak your first words, be there on your first day of school. And, when it’s time to let go, I will be the one to wave goodbye, and to watch you become a man.
Even if I am not present, my heart will always be there with you
There will come a time when these overwhelming emotions won’t always be happy ones. There will be days filled with anger, with frustration, with sadness, with despair. One day we may fight over your clothing, why you can’t have chocolate for breakfast and how long you have to stay in the bath.
But today there are no arguments. There are no words. There are no sounds except your beating heart against mine and your sweet sigh as you drift off to sleep in my arms.
And that’s all we need right now. No matter what our future holds together or what mistakes I make along the way, my love for you is stronger than anything I’ve ever known.
Love always and forever, Mummy