I was having dinner with a mum friend the other night, and we were talking about hypnobirthing classes. She was telling me how she went to ALL the classes when pregnant with her firstborn.
She said she’d hoped for a natural birth and had religiously practiced birthing techniques at home – only to end up having an emergency caesarean (and delivering a beautiful, healthy baby girl, hooray!).
She didn’t bother with any birth classes when pregnant the second time around, however. She had a toddler in tow and was now of the opinion that “whatever we will be, will be”. Do you know what? She ended up having the natural birth she always wanted but missed out on for her first.
All this chatter made me think about some of the other first-time-mum things we abandoned the second time around. For instance …
1. Finding a new mother’s group
My parent’s group was my lifeline with my first baby. Every question I had about caring for this brand new squidgy life was answered by my fellow mums in the trenches.
As we drifted back to work a year later, a few of us kept in touch. But when the next round of babies came along, I don’t think any of us bothered finding another group. It was easier to just hang out with each other with our toddlers and bubs – even if it was mostly online these days, because BUSY.
2. Splurging on 0000 outfits
Yes, they are itty-bitty adorable, but now you know your bub will only fit the teeny newborn-sized onesies for a week or two. Additionally, now you have all the OG baby’s hand-me-downs to recycle. Plus, it’s really all about what’s clean when you’re a second-time mum, rather than what’s itty-bitty adorable.
3. Packing everything ‘just in case’ in the nappy bag
First-time mums usually lug a nappy bag that Mary Poppins would be proud of. It has EVERYTHING you MIGHT need. But second-time mums know how many nappies they’ll actually use – and that their bag has to have enough room for their toddler’s favourite toys, a rock and an outfit change, as well as the baby’s stuff!
4. Sanitising it all!
From making strangers use hand sanitiser whenever they come within an inch of your baby, to washing and hand-drying dummies after they have dropped on the floor for one millisecond, first-time mums are a wary bunch.
Second-timers are a little more relaxed, or probably distracted, because they’re too busy wrangling their toddler to be the hand-washing police. *shrug*
5. Trying to sleep when the baby sleeps
I have a toddler. I will ‘sleep when my toddler AND my baby sleeps’. But let’s be honest, that rarely happens. So I just won’t sleep. Much. #Yawn
6. Checking the baby’s alive
“I can hear him breathing, so I’m sleeping” is the motto of second-time mums. While you may still have a few panicked checks in the early weeks, these will not be nearly as many as with your first baby.
7. Washing the car seat cover
Unless there’s been a vomiting incident, that car seat cover will likely be washed when it dawns on you just how rank your toddler’s seat really is (and that you really should just wash them both)!
8. Using shopping trolley covers
With all the things you need to carry for your baby and tot, a shopping trolley cover won’t be one of them anymore. Plus, germs? Meh.
9. Dress your baby for cute
He is already cute. The baby bow tie isn’t going to improve on that. Plus, where the heck is that, anyway?!