Chrissy Teigen and John Legend left their baby at home and people had opinions

Posted in Breastfeeding.

“First post-Miles date night!” John Legend wrote of the pair’s first night out since the birth of their second child. And then it all began. Do you know what was unsurprising? That people had things to say. Do you know what was a bit of a shock? That most of the things were about Chrissy’s blinkin’ BOOBS.

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First post-Miles date night!

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People have opinions

Because, apparently if you’re breastfeeding, everyone is instantly allowed to comment on your breasts and body. WHO. EVEN. KNEW?

No matter that polite conversation and plain old-fashioned respect would deem talking about someone’s boobs off the cards. This is social media, everyone. [insert sarcasm font] You can say the first thing that pops into your head. Or maybe it’s not the first thing you thought of. Perhaps you read someone else’s booby comment and gleefully joined the pack like a sort of lactation-inspired lemming? Hurrah! Chrissy’s breastfeeding! Finally we can discuss her chest! Good lord. [end]

Look … just … no. All of these responses are frankly totes inappropes, extra-especially if a slightly exhausted lady on her first date night since birthing a baby is the focus of your boob chat.

Just stop it right now. (Oh and if you’re going to say something like “she’s showing a lot of cleavage” or “she was a swimsuit model” or somesuch, you can just rethink that right now. Or get in the sea. Whichever is easiest. Her choices are her own to make. They do not signal a free pass to Boobtown for every social media or IRL creeper.)

Read more about Chrissy Teigen:

Now, as a lady who has breastfed three wee babies herself, this writer can’t quite fathom the entitled boob-obsessed response of many.

I mean, as a mere mortal/non famous person, perhaps your very close friends or family members might elbow you in the side and chortle something about “the girls” now and then. But that felt at least semi-okay.

The idea that strangers might notice one’s postpartum boobs AND THEN feel compelled to comment on them in a public forum en masse seems pretty gosh darned… rude. Rethink that, strangers!

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Our new love, Miles Theodore Stephens

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How to human

I’m not one to raise a problem without a solution, so here are some other things the boob-notised people could have said, in response to this actually adorable photo of Chrissy and John on a night out:

“Have fun, you two scoundrels!”

“Order the shrimp!” OR

“I wish you were my parents!”

And things not to say? (Things actual humans did say, in great numbers.)

“Those boobs tho.”


“Y are ur boobs out for public viewing?”

“Those milk jugs.”

Blah blah breast … Something else about boobs not being God’s plan. Like, it’s just a bit bloody rude, you know? 

The rules are easy

So, to sum up,  if you’re confused about what not to say to women, here’s some golden rules for you. These are some takeaways that will help you deal with breastfeeding mums, pregnant mums, postpartum mums, mums, non mums etc …

  1. If you see a woman who has had a baby and might even be on a date night for the first time in ages as a non-pregnant person, trying to feel a bit fancy and relax. Guess what? She doesn’t want you to tell her things about her boobs! Or any part of her body. Just don’t.
  2. If you see any woman at all … guess what? She doesn’t want you to tell her things about her boobs! Or any part of her body. Just don’t.

Now … here’s hoping Chrissy and John had a rad night out – without Luna and Miles – and ate all of the delicious snacks and things.

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❤️ / ?: @bumper3077

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