Emotions When Your Last Baby Starts Daycare
All the feelings! Eight emotions you experience when your last baby starts daycare
It can be a very emotional experience for a parent to send their baby off to daycare. Not only is it a big change for your child, but also for you as the parent. Let me tell you, my youngest just started daycare, and the emotions were real.
Since he is my third child, I thought I would be fully prepared. After all, I had done it twice with my older children. Nope. I was surprised at how intense the emotions were and how each experience felt different. Sending my last child off was a challenge, even though I’d done it twice before.
You’re not the only one who is about to make this decision. You’re not alone in the range of emotions that you may feel. You can probably relate to some of my emotions when my child started daycare.
1. Sadness: An emotional goodbye
Pure sadness was the first and most overwhelming feeling I experienced. Sending your child to daycare is one of the hardest milestones for parents. You have nurtured your baby for many months or, in my case, more than a year. You’ve had them as your child for so many months, but suddenly, they are off to daycare all on their own.
As I dressed him and packed his bag, it was difficult to keep back the tears. The photo of him with his backpack and standing proudly, ready to go to daycare, was a symbol of how much he’d grown. I could not believe how quickly time had passed.
He was only 15 months old and already exploring the world on his own. After holding him so close all these years, he was now on the brink of independence. While I was proud of him, my heart broke all at once.
2. Anxiety: What-ifs take over
As soon as I dropped him off at school, I was filled with anxiety. Did he enjoy his stay? Was he ok without me? Was he okay without me? Even though he was happy when I dropped him off, that doesn’t mean he won’t be upset the moment I leave the room. What if he didn’t get along with the other children? What if the other kids pushed him or stole his toy away? I could not stop picturing the worst possible scenarios.
I couldn’t help but worry that something could go wrong. Was the environment in the daycare safe? Was the environment safe? What if the caregivers didn’t pay attention to him when he was in need? My worries were never-ending. I was constantly wondering if he would be afraid or feel abandoned. It felt as if I lost control the moment I let him go.
I was also worried about more practical matters. Is it his favourite, too, or his nappy mat? Was I certain I had all the things he would need for the day with me? Even though I’d done it with my other children, I still found myself questioning every detail. The fact that you have a third kid doesn’t mean that you are immune to nerves. At least, not when it comes to.
3. Forgetfulness – What do I need to do?
This time, I couldn’t remember the routine. I had dropped my child off at daycare twice before. I had no idea what to do. What should I pack? What time does he arrive? What time does pick-up happen? I felt like I was running around with my head cut off. I felt as if I had to start over.
I couldn’t even remember the name of the class that he was enrolled in, much less the primary caregiver. I forgot to sign him into the class and was always scrambling for his extra clothes, snacks and emergency supplies. I was a first-time parent and couldn’t stop laughing at myself.
When I had my first and second children, I was prepared, organized and on top of it all. With my last child, I was constantly losing track of even the smallest details. At one point, I showed up to pick him up a whole day early. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry. But eventually, I realized that it was normal to be a bit out of sorts. It’s normal to feel a little out of sorts during the transition. This is true for both parents and children.
4. Nostalgia – Remembering the Old Days and the Struggles
It was a nostalgic feeling when my last child started school. This brought back many memories from when my firstborn was going through this. I remember the hard drop-offs, the tears, the separation anxiety and how difficult it was to leave my firstborn behind at such an early age. He could not even sit up, and I was terrified he wasn’t prepared. Even though I thought that I would be “over” it by now, I was just as emotional as I had been with my third baby.
Then I thought of my second child. Although it wasn’t as emotional as the first time, I was still moved. There were tears, and I was still worried about his adjustment. It’s never easy to send a child off to daycare, but with every new experience, it feels like a rite of passage.
This nostalgia reminded me of how far we have come. It was rewarding to see my children grow from the tear-filled moments of their early days into happy, confident daycare goers. It was a good reminder that things get easier over time and that the difficult transitions are all part of their overall development.
5. Enjoying Their Success
Amid all the anxiety and sadness, I felt a great sense of pride. Although I was sad that my last child was leaving, I could not help but be proud of his ability to adjust. He was adorable in his backpack and shoes. He had already made new friends at daycare and discovered new things. I did my best to prepare him, and I was proud to see him embrace this new experience.
It was a little shocking to see him walk into the room with other children without even a glance at me. It was also a moment to recognise that he is growing up. I was impressed with his resilience and how quickly he adapted to the daycare environment. There were a few teary drop-offs, but he did great. While I was proud of him, it was bittersweet to see him grow more confident and independent in the world.
6. Fear: the never-ending germs
Fear, and more specifically, the fear of bacteria, was an emotion that I hadn’t anticipated. Daycare is a veritable germ factory, don’t you think? It’s hard to believe that so many children are sharing toys, space and food while also sneezing and coughing. I immediately thought of all the illnesses that my son might catch: stomach bugs, colds, hand, feet, and mouth diseases, etc. Your child is almost certain to catch an illness at daycare. It’s not surprising that germs are everywhere.
I was constantly worried about the germs that he could be exposed to and if he would become sick. I was driven crazy by the thought of him becoming ill from another child’s cough or runny nasal. Although I knew it was a part of the daycare, my stomach turned at the thought of him getting sick from other children’s coughs or runny noses. Despite my fear, I knew that this exposure would build up his immune system. But it didn’t help me deal with the situation at the time.
7. Is it possible to feel guilty?
Ah, guilt. Most parents feel guilty when they send their children to daycare. I was no exception. I wondered if I had sent him to daycare too soon. Perhaps I should have kept him at home longer to rely more on the family. Could I have waited for him to be closer to the school-age? As I began to question whether I was making the best decision for him, guilt began to creep in.
It was hard not to be there for him every day. I knew that daycare would help his social and educational development, but it was still difficult. I couldn’t stop wondering if I should have kept him at home for a while longer. I knew it wasn’t possible. It’s not easy to live with guilt, but I’ve come to accept it as part of parenting.
8. Relieving Stress: A New Balance
In the middle of all my overwhelming emotions, I felt a surprising relief. My son was in daycare, so I could focus more on my work and the other responsibilities of managing a five-person family. It’s exhausting to be at home with a young child. I found it incredibly helpful to have some time to myself each week.
It was a relief to be able to focus on my work and know that my son is getting so much stimulation at the daycare. It is reassuring to see how much he learns and develops in this environment. I realized it was also important to take some time out for myself, both for my well-being and that of our entire family. Everyone suffers if I am running on empty.
The tears gradually diminished as the weeks passed. I saw how well my son did in daycare and knew this was only another stage in both his and mine journey. The relief I felt when I had a little time to myself was a great help.
Conclusion
My parenting experience has been filled with many emotional moments. Sending my final child to daycare was one of them. The tears, anxiety and guilt were all real. But there was also a lot of pride, nostalgia and relief. As parents, we experience many changes, each of which is bittersweet. As we watch our children grow, we have to learn how to let them go.
These emotions are part of the natural process. Both you and your child will be proud of the decision to send your baby to daycare. As time goes on, you will see that your child is learning and growing, and you will realise that both of you are capable of navigating through this new phase. Take it one step at a time, and know that you are doing well!
