Kids really do say the darndest things and in this case, it’s things about BOOBS. Oh, and genitals. And peanuts, too, if you get our meaning.
Some people have woke toddlers, I have a toddler who informs women at the grocery store that sometimes his penis get big bc there’s blood in it.
— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) May 18, 2018
“There’s blood in it”
“Some people have woke toddlers,” TV writer and mum Nicole Cliffe wrote on Twitter, “I have a toddler who informs women at the grocery store that sometimes his penis get big bc there’s blood in it.”
“LISTEN, lady trying to innocently purchase apricots, IN OUR HOUSE WE LEARN ACCURATE REPRODUCTIVE SCIENCE,” she went on.
Other beleaguered parents were so glad Nicole had brought this up. They had feelings about their kids’ totes inappropes chatter – and were not shy about sharing them. We must warn you, they are harrowing. #snort!
“As a toddler my son walked into the bathroom while I was on the pot and asked “when did your penis fall off?” When I said I never had one he apologised to me,” one – apparently very sadly lacking – mum posted on Twitter in response.
Read more posts about funny kids:
- Parents share deals they’ve cut with their preschoolers and we understand
- Justin Trudeau’s 3-year-old is the most mischievous, horizontal diplomat ever
- The decluttering struggle is upsettingly real for Chrissie Swan’s 4-year-old
The floodgates were officially open and the tales of toddler truth-telling terror began.
“When I was pregnant with my 2nd and had boobs the size of melons and nipples like saucers my toddler son told me ‘I like your big, big nipples!’ And I was like oh, oedipus, no”, another posted. #NotTodayOedipus
“My toddler points at random men and asks, ‘He has a penis?'” someone else admitted.
“I need privacy”
It turned out that some kids were very keen be anatomically correct …
“My 2-year-old once told my in-laws in painstaking detail exactly how I was going to give birth to her brother, sparing nothing I’d rather they not think about,” one parent winced.
“From the mall bathroom: ‘MOM, I NEED HELP CLEANING MY VULVA!’ Yay for accuracy,” a mum shared.
“My daughter, potty training: ‘I need privacy for my wuh-weeth-wuh’ (urethra),” another parent recalled.
Sometimes kids were keen to get it right, but something got lost in translation.
“My toddler once announced ‘Daddy has a donut!’ After a minute, she clarified that daddy has a ‘peanut’. (Daddy’s not sure which is worse.)” one mum tweeted.
“When my son was two, the babysitter’s kids taught him to say vagina. It took us a while to figure it out because he was yelling “Big China!” I don’t think they actually told him what it meant,” someone else commented – and honestly, we’re never going to look at Donald Trump the same again (and we already had issues.)