Why Mums Need to Wet the Baby’s Head Too
It was one of the most exciting moments in my life when our first child was delivered. We spent hours staring at our baby, amazed at what we had made. While we were both ecstatic, there were also challenges. I admit that I was exhausted, both physically and mentally, from giving birth to my baby and caring for it. Just a week after that, my husband “wetted the baby’s hair.” This is a very common phrase, but one that made me think about how tradition has changed and whether it was time to reconsider it.
What does it mean to wet the baby’s head?
This term comes from an Irish tradition where fathers and male family members would drink whiskey to celebrate the birth of a child. This tradition used to involve sprinkling whiskey on the head of the baby as a symbol of celebration and blessing. It has evolved and is now more often associated with new fathers celebrating the birth of their child with friends. This is often seen as a celebration of the transition from fatherhood, a time for men to get together with their friends and toast to their new role as dads.
As I thought about this tradition, something felt missing. Was there a celebration for the mums? It’s not only the fathers who go through life-changing experiences when a child is born. Carrying, giving birth, and caring for your newborn are physically and emotionally demanding. Why is “wetting a baby’s face” – an act that celebrates parenthood – traditionally reserved for fathers only?
The Problem with the “Wet the Head” Tradition
The idea of drinking a few beers to celebrate the birth of a baby may seem harmless. But there is a deeper issue: this tradition has excluded many mothers. The “wet baby’s hair” ritual is well-known, but few people are aware of how difficult and complex the journey for mothers to give birth can be. The postpartum phase can be just as challenging as pregnancy and childbirth. Giving birth can be physically, emotionally, and mentally taxing. This is often underrated.
My husband was out wetting the baby’s hair when I was still getting used to being a new mother. I had not slept for days and was still recovering after labour. I was devoted to my baby, constantly feeding him and trying to understand this new world with a newborn. While I was trying to figure out the new life of motherhood and navigating its complexities, my husband went out with friends for a celebratory beverage. Do not get me wrong, I did not want to stop my husband from celebrating. However, I felt that there was an unequal aspect to it. I was frustrated that mothers did not have a similar tradition.
This is not the only mother who feels this way. Other mothers who I have spoken to feel the same way. One friend told me how her husband sneaked whiskey into the hospital to celebrate the birth of their son. One mum told how her husband drank from the hospital cup to celebrate while she was still recuperating. This is a pattern that I’ve seen repeated time and again. Fathers are expected to celebrate, while mothers must endure quietly the post-birthing process without fanfare.
Why shouldn’t mums get a “Wet the Head” moment too?
It’s time to change the tradition of men celebrating “wet-the-head” celebrations. Why should only dads get to experience this special moment? Motherhood requires a lot of resilience, emotional strength, and effort. We should celebrate the hard work mums do after giving birth.
Mothers have carried and nurtured this child for many months, dealing with the discomforts of pregnancy. After giving birth, we are often in the throes of postpartum recovery. It can seem like an endless process to adjust to life with a new baby, learn to breastfeed and manage sleepless nights. It seems only right that mothers get to enjoy themselves in the middle of this.
Why not start a new tradition where mums “wet their heads”? Let’s not just focus on dad’s celebrations. Instead, let’s create an area where we can celebrate and acknowledge the incredible strength and hard work that mums provide. It’s not about diminishing the importance of Dad but about extending the tradition to include both equally.
Redefining the “Mum’s Head Wetting” Tradition
Imagine a tradition that honoured both the mother and the father. Imagine a tradition that acknowledged the physical, mental, and emotional effort women make to bring new life into this world. Mums deserve to have a celebration, too, and it doesn’t need to involve alcohol.
We could begin by celebrating the small victories. It’s the simple pleasure of taking a shower without interruption. You can celebrate the simple joy of being able to take a full shower without interruption. We can also celebrate the first time you have a cup of tea without a baby crying in the background. These seemingly small moments are huge milestones for a new mom and deserve to be celebrated.
These moments of calm and normality are to be celebrated while acknowledging the challenges and victories of motherhood. Every mother deserves to take a breather and have a moment of happiness in the middle of chaos.
What to celebrate: It’s not about the alcohol.
It’s not about drinking, as I have made it clear. Mums do not need alcohol to celebrate. While dads may enjoy a few beers, they don’t have to. A cup of warm tea or coffee can be just as enjoyable for many mothers – especially when they’ve been feeling interrupted by their baby’s demands over the past few weeks. These moments of peace should be celebrated and regarded as part of postpartum life.
Maybe a new tradition would be to take a moment for quiet self-care. Mums are so busy taking care of their babies that they often forget to take care of themselves. Take a break. Enjoy a relaxing bath. Or indulge in your favourite snack. Recognise that you have done something amazing – that you brought new life to the world. This deserves recognition.
The case for equal celebration: Why mums deserve more recognition
In our society, it is easy to celebrate fathers for the births of their children. Fathers’ contributions to the birth of their children are frequently recognized in public. The “wet-the-head” tradition is one such example. This ignores the experience of mothers who face a difficult journey from pregnancy through to recovery after childbirth. It’s not that fathers shouldn’t be celebrated, but now is the time to give mothers the recognition they deserve.
We’ve heard of “push gifts,” which are typically given to mothers to thank them for their hard work after giving birth. This is a good start, but why not create a new tradition to celebrate mothers in general? This could be a chance to reflect on the physical, emotional, and mental journeys of motherhood and to allow others to celebrate their resilience and strength.
We should also allow fathers to acknowledge the challenges their partners face. We should not view the tradition of “wetting the head” as a celebration exclusive to fathers but rather as a way for both parents’ contributions to be recognized. We have an opportunity to create a tradition that is more inclusive and balanced, which acknowledges the roles of both parents.
Modern Dads’ Role in Parenthood
It is a celebration of fathers’ pre-birth. This is a sort of “bachelor party” where dads gather with their friends and celebrate the “end of freedom” before becoming parents. This is a great way for men and their friends to get together, but it also highlights the fact that fatherhood is celebrated in an entirely different way. This is a great way to celebrate the father-to-be for his transition from being a child into a father. But women should be celebrated as well, particularly after a pregnancy and childbirth.
Mums, too, should be allowed to experience a similar event. We deserve to be able to celebrate our new life, the strength that we have shown and the new chapter in which we are now. The “mum’s wetting” tradition could be a way to honour the resilience, love, and strength that comes with being a mom.
Conclusion
It’s time to make a change. It’s time for a change. Both parents should be celebrated when a new child arrives. It’s time for a new tradition to honour both mothers and fathers and recognise the sacrifices, hard work and love each parent brings.
Rethink how we celebrate parenting. Let’s make sure that mothers get the recognition they deserve. Both parents should be able to “wet” the baby’s hair together, from the sleepless night to the joyful moments. It’s time for a new tradition that celebrates the journey of parenting.
