Sharing isn’t always caring – “Should I tell my friend I hate her baby name?”

Posted in Baby Names.

When it comes to the topic of children and babies among friends, it’s inevitable that sometimes things will get a little awkward.

Sharing isn’t always caring

As kids are, of course, a massive part of our lives, it’s only natural that we have strong opinions on parenting issues.

When sharing parenting opinions, it’s common for one friend to unintentionally offend the other, for someone to get touchy and defensive, or in some cases, someone might just get plain mad.

And these examples are just in relation to generalised issues – but how about when conversations turn a little more personal?

Finding herself in such a personal parenting dilemma with her friend, a woman took to Mumsnet to post about her sticky situation in the hope of receiving some much-needed advice.

To tell, or not to tell?

Her post read: “Ok. I have a friend who has recently given birth to a beautiful baby boy. She’s thinking of calling him Miller and asked me what I think. Do I tell her (in a tactful way)? FWIW I think it’s a dreadful name.”

So that brings up the big issue: to tell, or not to tell?

As for this particular issue, most of the women who posted replies were definitely in the “not to tell” camp.

One said, “Definitely not”, while another posted, “No. Not your baby or your reason.”

Another more direct comment from a commenter read, “What’s it got to do with you?”

Isn’t honesty the best policy?

But on the other hand, we need to consider the fact her friend had directly asked her for advice.

Therefore, wouldn’t it be better to be honest – rather than lie in fear of hurting her feelings?

In favour of being upfront with her friend, another poster said:

“Yeah be honest! Unless she has a specific/sentimental reason for the name! My friend hated the name Matilda, but I still went for it, only her opinion!! Xx”.

Another agreed, saying, “As she’s asked, yes tell her”.

Personally speaking, I am definitely with the “be honest” camp.

I have always preferred brutal honesty over lies to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, yet I also understand that not everybody feels the same way.

I mean, when one of your friends asks, “Does my bum look big in this?” as she squeezes into that new pair of jeans she’s in love with, I’m guessing almost always she the wants to hear a clear “NO!” – regardless of whether it actually does or not!

So in certain circumstances, are white lies perhaps okay?

And then with those bigger issues such as whether you like your friend’s choice of baby names, I guess only you can make that decision.

Yet, whichever way you go, remember one thing.

Be tactful!

It’s not always what we say, it’s often how we say it that is key.


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