Mum shares “new normal” that marriage brings – and it’s raw and feeling-filled

Writer Laura Mazza has shared an emotional update about the shifts that happen when couples get together and have kids, and it’s striking a chord with other parents.

“A new normal”

“After children, after marriage, you have to find a new normal,” Laura writes in a thoughtfully-written piece she shared on Facebook and Instagram.

“Suddenly you realise love isn’t about the biggest bunch of flowers, or throwing rocks at windows. It’s not about looks, money, a perfect body, superficialities.”

Instead, Laura says it’s about actually showing up and fully supporting your partner …  putting yourself in their shoes.

“Love is 3am, your children are calling out for you. After being with them all day. After holding a teething baby all day, and feeling like you can’t go on, he gets up and he goes to them.”

“It’s the peck before work and the I love you every morning, without fail … Bringing home my favourite chocolate and making sure my car is always filled with fuel.”

The 3am partner

Not only did Laura have some lessons on gratitude to share, she had some advice on finding the right partner too. (Her advice was written to women who were hoping to marry a man, but this advice could be useful to all sorts of romantic relationships.)

“Marry the guy who will be a father to your children. Who will get up at 3am, who will let you put your cold feet him on his legs, who will wait at the chemist to pick up your antidepressants.”

“Be with a man who will put you first, who puts your family first, who will appreciate you, and when you both forget to appreciate the love you have, who will be patient enough with you until you realise, and who will love you even when you struggle to like each other.”

“Love yourself”

Laura’s followers could not get enough of this missive and had some of their own life advice to share too.

“Learn to love yourself,” one commenter urged other mums. “I used to be a normal size 10- 12 then pregnancy and hormones played with my body. My five sons are so beautiful and so worth every stretch mark but its taken me so long to love myself again.”

“I think relationship counselling is a smart move and an investment in one another, it doesn’t have to be for couples ‘on the rocks,’” someone else suggested in their ‘life advice’ comment.

Other readers tagged their partners in this update and thanked them for their support. So cute.

“Thank you for being the greatest husband and father to our children,” one mum wrote tagging their hubby.

“Absolutely love you and the support you have given me these past 2 weeks since having bub,” another newbie mama posted, tagging her other half.

“I love all the versions of you I have seen the last 11 years, but my favorite by far is seeing you as mum,” one dad wrote to his partner under Laura’s post. “Regardless of what life throws at us know I always have your back. Just like you have mine.”

You can read Laura’s full post below.