I know you might be hoping for a little V-Day hanky-panky, but just like foreplay, there are a couple of things you can do ahead of time that are more likely put me in the mood.
Such as …
1. A card that says stuff that comes from the heart
Sweetie, we’ve both gotten a little bit lazy with cards since childcare started sending our little one home with cute Mother’s and Father’s Day crafts and cards.
On these calendar ‘Days’ we sometimes unwrap their handmade creations and the card is written in an educator’s handwriting, rather than our own.
While I know we are too tired to express our love and gratitude to each other as often as we should, or to each other rather than through our kids, I think we should try to put the effort in.
Although it’s cheesy, Valentine’s Day might just be as good a day as any to say, ‘I love you’ – but honey, can you please try and say this in more words than just three?
Tap into those feels and write me a damn card!
I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.
2. A night with you
Honey, I know one of us often falls asleep cuddling a small body while the other cleans up the kitchen, but how about we treat Valentine’s night as a date night that we both turn up to?
Of course if going out is on the cards because we have babysitting, and money, and energy, and can be bothered, and, and, and … then let’s do that. But if not, which is most likely, then let’s get our sh!t together and schedule some us-time at home.
Let’s make an effort to get this right.
This means we need to try and get the kids down early and make dinner as simple as possible so there is little cleaning up to do.
I’ll scoop the ice cream, if you set up a movie ready to stream!
Cue couch snuggles.
3. Sleep … well, of course!
If sleep trumps romance, let’s just take a rain check on Valentine’s Day.
We don’t need a ‘day’, but we do need sleep. Gawd, don’t we know it?
But love, let’s make another night ‘our’ night and do the couch snuggle thing, or book a babysitter and go out. Like actually plan for it and write it on the calendar.
If we know there is a plan, we’ll both make it happen.
4. A small, thoughtful gesture
I don’t need (or want!) a stuffed Valentine’s Day teddy bear or a dozen overpriced red roses because it’s February 14. In fact, I really don’t. But I, like you, love a thoughtful gift or gesture.
Now I don’t want you to spend serious money, but you know me. You know what I like. You know what floats my boat. What will make me smile and think, “He’s a goodie, that man of mine.”
Just like I know you.
So maybe the gift is just something simple that shows this? Like a coffee Keep Cup in my favourite colour that I can plonk in the pram cup holder, while wheeling our little love off to sleep?
And for you, maybe I’ll pop a chocolate bar in the car compartment where you keep your loose change to find later, or make your favourite meal tonight that you haven’t eaten in years because we have fussy kids and I have a rule about not cooking two dinners.
So honey, I think if we do some or all of this, then we BOTH might feel like some sexy time. It’s all about foreplay.