To my not-as-needy child, I see you and I love what I see

Posted in Family.

My little love, as I cradle your screaming brother in my arms, trying to calm him down, I want you to know that I see you.

To my not-as-needy child, I see you looking at him with a sad but accepting look. You know the drill.

He is often like this. He’s my more-needy child. But you, you are also worthy of my time and touch. I know you don’t get it nearly as much as him. But I want you to know …

I’m sorry

I often feel bad that you don’t. I’m your mummy too and you deserve an equal share in my attention. It’s just that you aren’t as demanding of it as him, and believe me that’s a good thing. I still see you though and I so love what I see.

Toddler holding up leaf

You are special

To my not-as-needy child, you’re my perceptive little guy. You aren’t even three yet, but you comprehend so much.

You know your brother needs his mummy to help him regroup when he’s lost control. So you let me be there for him – well as much as you can.

You still stretch your pudgy toddler arms out to me in a cuddle-beg, but you also accept that a stroke on your chubby cheek is all I can offer you right now. I am incapacitated by your brother who is now clinging onto me for dear life.

Even though he’s the older one, it sometimes feels like you are.

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But I want you to know that I want to give you more. I want to pick you up like I do him and rock away any anxiety you may be feeling right now, or just smother you in kisses because I love you. 

And boy, do I love you.

You’re so funny and cute, but you’re also all heart. You’re innately kind and empathetic. It’s just your nature – and in these moments when you, my not-so-needy child, are forced to step into the background again, I want you to know that I’m so proud of the person you are, and the little man you are going to grow into. 

And so I want to say …

Thank you for going easy on me

I know I would struggle a lot more if I had two of your brother. And I know you know I love him with all of my heart. But the truth is … one needy child is a handful but two, I think, would break me.

So thank you for being you. Thank you for your kind heart and for going easy on me as your Mummy.

I know you also need me 

To my not-as-needy child, even though you seem to cope better in every situation, I know you still need me. But it’s not in the same way as your brother. 

You don’t need me to cuddle you off to sleep every night, for instance. But because of this I see you grow up before I’ve had a chance to really help you do so. You don’t cause me too much worry or anxiety when I peer into the future, either. Because I know you will be just fine. 

But I want you to know that I see you. And I love what I see.

You are going to be a beautiful, selfless, caring man. Because even from a young age you’ve put others first. 

Thank you for being you.   

Mum and toddler son hugging


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