8 things I have banned from the house until the kids are 18

Posted in Family.

Mess, noise and chaos are pretty much guaranteed when you have kids. But there’s always a limit on just how much you can handle. And every parent has items that have been banned from their home. These are the things that will never see the light of day in my house.

What about yours?

1. Food colouring

Not only is it impossible to get off little fingers (and everything else) but it also has an uncanny ability to turn poop a different colour. And cleaning up a nappy full of green poop has ‘disaster’ written all over it.

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2. Food on a stick

Because any food on a stick, from icy poles to lollipops, is going to end in a sticky mess all over the floor. If it’s got a stick attached to it, then it has to be eaten outside.

The end.

3. Bean bags

Those little beans will be the death of me. My son’s bean bag broke three years ago and I still find those annoying Styrofoam beads on the floor every now and then.

4. Lazy Susans

A Lazy Susan sounds like a good idea in theory… until your five-year-old and three-year-old have a tug of war over which side they want, causing food to spin in a circle of death all over the kitchen. At my house, Susan now lives in the cupboard and only comes out on special, child-free occasions.

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5. Recorders

Sure, they’re not messy, but they will ruin lives (or at the least make you reach for the ear plugs), especially after listening to Hot Cross Buns over and over again.

6. Glassware

If we are drinking out of plastic cups (and preferably all the same colour to avoid any fights), then nothing will be spilled.

Oh, but the moment we attempt to be adults and drink out of glasses that don’t have cartoon characters on them, my kids lose all ability to hold on to anything. If it’s glass, it will be dropped. And break into a million little pieces.

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7. Sharpie pens

One word: permanent. No child can resist their lure. The desire to draw all over a clean white wall with a permanent black marker is innate. Don’t give in to it.

8. Glitter

things we hate

I can’t even begin to express my feelings towards glitter, or, as I refer to it “the world’s worst invention clearly only created to drive parents to the brink of insanity”.

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It’s okay. Spills happen. Glasses break. Glitter goes everywhere. But life goes on, and it will be more clean and more sane with eco+range carpet. This is one of the smartest inventions in the world of family homes – carpet that can be cleaned (and rid) of stains with nothing but water – thanks to a fibre called triextra which can’t be penetrated by liquid.

Don’t believe it’s possible to clean carpet with only water? Neither did I. But the proof is in the video.

Check out the entire range at Godfrey Hirst eco+range carpet and lift your ban on all-things-forbidden. Except for the recorder. That ban can stay.

(This is a sponsored post for Godfrey Hirst)


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