There’s no doubt about it, Aldi is fantastic for family shopping if you’re on a budget. While you might save a stack of cash on your everyday items, boy do you pay for those bargains in other ways.
Here are my seven stages of Aldi shopping madness.
1. Coin operation
Yep, it starts in the car park. I pull up feeling relaxed, find a parking spot and get my toddler out. We head to the entrance of the store, and that’s when I realise I don’t have any coins for the trolley. Seriously, who carries cash these days? Back to the car we go so I can scour the floor for some change. Success! A $2 coin covered in a sticky lolly wrapper. On with the show.
2. Grocery paradise
My bub happily sits in the trolley munching a banana while I peruse the aisles. Oh, zucchinis are so cheap! And look at that new brand of tea, yum; I’ll take some of that. Check out that home-brew system for the husband. I’ll be number one wifey this week for sure. Gee, this trolley is getting full, which is strange considering I only came in for bananas and milk.
3. Things take a turn
Alright, we’ve hit a snag. Why don’t they have any Milo today? And where’s all the soy milk? Last time I came, I swear they had organic tinned tomatoes. Sigh, I’m going to have to drop into Woolies on the way home. Meanwhile, I rip the bag of frozen peas out of my toddler’s mouth that he was munching on and wrestle him for the sweet potatoes. We need to wrap this up – quick!
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4. Get me out of here
My son goes mental throwing as much stuff as he can out of the trolley, which is somehow overflowing with a mountain of groceries and other IMPORTANT items I had to have. He’s screaming, I’m internally screaming … and wow look at the line at the alcohol registers. If I could locate those bottles of wine, I’d get rid of them and move to another register, but that’s not going to happen.
5. Battle stations
It takes a while, but I finally manage to unload my goods, while the checkout operator waits patiently. My son manages to escape the trolley straps, almost falling out head first. I wrangle him back in and wheel my trolley into position. I am ready.
6. Frantic packing frenzy
Deep breaths, now. I attempt to pack my items into the environment bags I brought with me but abandon this after 30 seconds. I can’t keep up with this scanning ninja. Why is she going so fast? Thank god for that box of crackers that’s keeping my bub quiet. No time for recycling batteries, let’s pay and go.
7. The final hurdle
I stagger out into the car park pushing my trolley and nearly tip the darn thing over, toddler included. I am in hell right now. Back at the car, I realise I didn’t bring enough bags to pack my groceries in, so I chuck the items, loose, into the boot. My fruit and veggies are going to be ruined. But at least I have the brewing kit. I consider ditching the trolley and forgoing the $2 deposit but remember that I will need it the next time I come shopping, so off I go, back to the trolley line with a kicking toddler under my arm. Eventually, I manage to get him into his car seat and we’re off. Yeeha I made it!
Cycle of madness
That’s when I remember that once I get home, I still have my cranky son and the shopping currently rolling around in my boot to deal with. Oh Aldi, why do you do this to me?! I’d like to say never again, but we all know that’s a lie. And so the vicious cycle continues.
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